---
product_id: 2412874
title: "When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships"
brand: "mira kirshenbaum"
price: "€ 31.84"
currency: EUR
in_stock: false
reviews_count: 7
url: https://www.desertcart.pt/products/2412874-when-good-people-have-affairs-inside-the-hearts-and-minds
store_origin: PT
region: Portugal
---

# When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships

**Brand:** mira kirshenbaum
**Price:** € 31.84
**Availability:** ❌ Out of Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships by mira kirshenbaum
- **How much does it cost?** € 31.84 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Currently out of stock
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.pt](https://www.desertcart.pt/products/2412874-when-good-people-have-affairs-inside-the-hearts-and-minds)

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## Description

When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships

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![When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41+PNCGWVuL.jpg)
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## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    How wonderful to find a product that really does help!
  

*by T***I on Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 17, 2008*

I had an affair 4 years ago, and got tired of my husband throwing it up in my face for the last 3.  Like the average person, I never considered myself to be "that" type of person that would have an affair.  It just happened.  Now that my husband and I are splitting up, I started thinking about how I'm really not a bad person and got this book to try and help me make sense of what happened.  This author speaks so well, it felt like I was getting advice from my friend down the road.  It didn't talk above my head or give me a bunch of stuff but leave me wondering what to do with it.My marriage began the downhill slide to ending years ago.  No need to go into those details, but suffice to say my husband (soon to be ex) has periodically labeled me this horrible human being for a 3 mos ordeal out of an 11 year marriage.  Nevermind that he was unfaithful to his last wife and I have reason to suspect he's not been a saint this time, but no proof.  Still, I got tired of hearing how the problems were all mine and went looking for a book that could help me figure out that either I was a monster and how to change or that I'm just a normal human.  The author does well to show how we're all human and, while not condoning the idea of an affair, she does recongnize how it can happen.  And it's not because those of us who do it are just bad people.  It's because we're in situations we don't plan on, we find ourselves in bad relationships and maybe we're trying to stay together for the kids (that was me), but we should not be condemned forever.  It just so happened that my home life was at an all-time low and I was being emotionally and verbally abused, and really thinking about why did I even want to continue being on this planet, when I happened to meet someone who told me I was important and a necessary part of the human race.  Thank goodness, too, because in the end, it made me a better mom!  At least, one that is still here.A lot of the text talks about the reader as being in a current relationship and having a person on the side, and how to decide what to do.  I still felt it was extremely beneficial to read even tho my affair was over a long time ago.  At the time, I was not "found out" so much as I confessed rather than lie about a situation  My husband offered to help me get the guy back if that's what I wanted. . . how badly could he have been hurt if that was how he felt?!!  The other person wasn't for me either, but he was put in my life at that time for a specific purpose.  This book does not tell you what you've done is the right thing, but it helps you see why it happened, possibly how to avoid this same thing in the future and how to choose what you need from your life right now.I really like her style of writing.  I'm a college graduate, but I've read books that talked to me like I was an idiot and gave me a bunch of information but no way to process it.  The author speaks in a tone that anyone can relate to, it's just common speak, not technical or a bunch of words that send you running for Websters.  She gives you a lot of information but also tells you what you need to think about, useful suggestions on processing it all, and what to do next.I'm almost done with another book of hers, and there's one waiting on me after that.  Finally, an author of self-help books that really does help!  It's wonderful!

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    A book long overdue
  

*by V***T on Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 28, 2009*

Long ago I read  Kirshenbaum's book "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" and underlined so much of it there was hardly a clean page left. Now all these years later I have read her latest book; "When Good People Have Affairs" and can say that this book has been asking to be written for a very long time. Critics who say this subject matter shouldn't be written about are no different than people who say that an elephant in the living room should not be talked about.The facts are the facts; for a myriad of reasons people are drawn into affairs and the truth is it simply is not as black and white as many people want to think that it is. Of course there are lots of examples of people who are simply not trustworhty and cannot seem to commit when it comes to relationships and marriage. We all know those stories. The other side of the coin however, is that good people DO have affairs. And just as there are short term affairs that are flings there are also long term affairs that are deep love affairs.Sometimes the one in the marriage has been hurt and hurting for a long time. The reason they do not go ahead and divorce is connected with a myriad of complexities; family expectations, property issues, social status, as well their own personalities and simply not wanting to have to deal with any more pain in their lives as well as not wishing to cause others close to them any pain. Not wanting to hurt either their spouse or their children they feel caught in an agonizing situation. As an Episcopal priest I know this to be a fact.I am very grateful to Mira Kirshenbaum for having the courage to write this much needed book. I only hope that down the road she will address the issue of the unmarried person in the affair; usually the woman, as well as the issue of how adult children play into the reason why their parents feel they cannot extricate themselves out of a marriage that for all intents and purposes died a natural death long before the affair began in the first place.While this book is focused on the married partner in an affair, it is still very helpful for the single partner. Indeed it was the single partner in such a situation who told me about the book in the first place. Knowing that someone like Mira Kirshenbaum is out there; not only recognizing the reality of these situations but looking into the causes and the solutions, is like water flowing into a dry desert for those who find themselves caught in what can be a very lonely place.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    Useful
  

*by A***R on Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 13, 2013*

The author classifies the affairs, which I believe helps anyone in finding the underlying causes (probably unconscious) for their affair. It's not about judgement rather understanding.

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*Product available on Desertcart Portugal*
*Store origin: PT*
*Last updated: 2026-02-10*