--- product_id: 344807547 title: "I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality" price: "€ 26.84" currency: EUR in_stock: true reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.pt/products/344807547-i-hate-you-dont-leave-me-third-edition-understanding-borderline store_origin: PT region: Portugal --- # I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality **Price:** € 26.84 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality - **How much does it cost?** € 26.84 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.pt](https://www.desertcart.pt/products/344807547-i-hate-you-dont-leave-me-third-edition-understanding-borderline) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality [Kreisman, Jerold J., Straus, Hal] on desertcart.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. I Hate You-Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality Review: A clear, steady breakdown of BPD without the dramatics - I picked this up because I wanted something straightforward and practical, not another sensationalized “BPD horror story.” This book actually delivers. It’s clinical without being cold, honest without being cruel, and structured in a way where you genuinely understand the disorder instead of getting lost in psych jargon. The authors explain what’s going on underneath the volatility — the attachment issues, the trauma, the emotions that swing harder than most people expect. Once you understand the “why,” the behavior stops feeling random. The book also does a good job separating the person from the disorder, which keeps you from slipping into the “good vs. evil” mindset that a lot of online conversations fall into. ⸻ What helped the most The communication framework (SET-UP) This was the most useful part for me. Instead of giving unrealistic advice like “just be patient,” it gives a structure for how to talk to someone with BPD without escalating things. You actually walk away with something you can use the same day. The breakdown of symptoms It explains identity instability, abandonment panic, emotional shifts, impulsivity, and relationship patterns without judgment. It’s objective but still empathetic. Case studies They’re simple, but they help connect the dots when you’re reading through the more technical sections. ⸻ What to know going in This book is not a cure or a shortcut. It won’t magically “fix” anyone, and it definitely isn’t written to demonize people with BPD either. It’s more like: here’s what’s going on, here’s how therapy approaches it, and here’s how you can keep interactions from spiraling. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s perfect. ⸻ Pros • Clear, digestible explanations of BPD without sensationalism • Gives actual communication tools • Updated research + modern understanding of the disorder • Good balance between clinical info and real-life examples • Easy to reference if you’re supporting someone ⸻ Cons • Some chapters feel a little old-school in tone • It’s a lot of information — not a one-sitting read • Doesn’t replace therapy for either person ⸻ Final thoughts If you’re trying to understand someone in your life who has BPD — or you just want to understand the patterns and psychology behind it — this is worth reading. It’s grounded, respectful, and actually helpful. I walked away feeling like I understood the disorder instead of taking it personally or guessing in the dark. Review: Fantastic Read. - If you have a loved one with BPD, this book really helps. It outlines the reasons and symptoms behind their behavior, and explains how to avoid engaging with their behavior further. My therapist recommended it to me and it has been so helpful for the healing process. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #2,460 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #3 in Personality Disorders (Books) #4 in Mood Disorders (Books) #6 in Popular Psychology Personality Study | | Customer Reviews | 4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars (2,366) | | Dimensions | 5.39 x 0.83 x 8.11 inches | | Edition | 3rd | | ISBN-10 | 0593418492 | | ISBN-13 | 978-0593418499 | | Item Weight | 9.8 ounces | | Language | English | | Print length | 336 pages | | Publication date | September 7, 2021 | | Publisher | Tarcher | ## Images ![I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71LhPllVUPL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A clear, steady breakdown of BPD without the dramatics *by M***N on November 17, 2025* I picked this up because I wanted something straightforward and practical, not another sensationalized “BPD horror story.” This book actually delivers. It’s clinical without being cold, honest without being cruel, and structured in a way where you genuinely understand the disorder instead of getting lost in psych jargon. The authors explain what’s going on underneath the volatility — the attachment issues, the trauma, the emotions that swing harder than most people expect. Once you understand the “why,” the behavior stops feeling random. The book also does a good job separating the person from the disorder, which keeps you from slipping into the “good vs. evil” mindset that a lot of online conversations fall into. ⸻ What helped the most The communication framework (SET-UP) This was the most useful part for me. Instead of giving unrealistic advice like “just be patient,” it gives a structure for how to talk to someone with BPD without escalating things. You actually walk away with something you can use the same day. The breakdown of symptoms It explains identity instability, abandonment panic, emotional shifts, impulsivity, and relationship patterns without judgment. It’s objective but still empathetic. Case studies They’re simple, but they help connect the dots when you’re reading through the more technical sections. ⸻ What to know going in This book is not a cure or a shortcut. It won’t magically “fix” anyone, and it definitely isn’t written to demonize people with BPD either. It’s more like: here’s what’s going on, here’s how therapy approaches it, and here’s how you can keep interactions from spiraling. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s perfect. ⸻ Pros • Clear, digestible explanations of BPD without sensationalism • Gives actual communication tools • Updated research + modern understanding of the disorder • Good balance between clinical info and real-life examples • Easy to reference if you’re supporting someone ⸻ Cons • Some chapters feel a little old-school in tone • It’s a lot of information — not a one-sitting read • Doesn’t replace therapy for either person ⸻ Final thoughts If you’re trying to understand someone in your life who has BPD — or you just want to understand the patterns and psychology behind it — this is worth reading. It’s grounded, respectful, and actually helpful. I walked away feeling like I understood the disorder instead of taking it personally or guessing in the dark. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Fantastic Read. *by K***B on January 8, 2026* If you have a loved one with BPD, this book really helps. It outlines the reasons and symptoms behind their behavior, and explains how to avoid engaging with their behavior further. My therapist recommended it to me and it has been so helpful for the healing process. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Books *by T***Y on March 31, 2026* A good read. Informative. ## Frequently Bought Together - I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality - Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder - Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.pt/products/344807547-i-hate-you-dont-leave-me-third-edition-understanding-borderline](https://www.desertcart.pt/products/344807547-i-hate-you-dont-leave-me-third-edition-understanding-borderline) --- *Product available on Desertcart Portugal* *Store origin: PT* *Last updated: 2026-04-23*