---
product_id: 373956
title: "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence"
price: "€ 33.65"
currency: EUR
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 8
url: https://www.desertcart.pt/products/373956-mating-in-captivity-unlocking-erotic-intelligence
store_origin: PT
region: Portugal
---

# Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

**Price:** € 33.65
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

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- **What is this?** Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
- **How much does it cost?** € 33.65 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.pt](https://www.desertcart.pt/products/373956-mating-in-captivity-unlocking-erotic-intelligence)

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## Description

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence [Perel, Esther] on desertcart.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Review: a book to own about having a meaningful relationship with your partner and wanting to grow - This book is so well written, I cannot even begin! Holy cow is Esther Perel brilliant, kind, thoughtful and passionate. Her schooling scintillates and her language simmers. It is clear she has complete command of her subject and is dedicated to improving the lives of couples. The way she writes and educates brings back love to relationships. This is a book everyone should read and study.
Review: Excellent book for couples and singles! Offers a fully different perspective - This is a really, really great book on navigating relationships and is great for both couples and singles. Based on the title you may think it is all about sex. However, to me, it is all about maintaining "who you are" and a healthy amount of independence or distance within the relationship so that the spark and passion stays strong between you. A spark doesn't happen without a bit of distance that it can arc across. This is true for passion and interest in relationships too. The book is written by a European who has been living in the U.S. and working as a therapist here for years. Through her background she has identified key issues in the way we handle relationships in the U.S. that are actually killing the passion. It does also discuss the differences between one partner and another in relation to passion, sexual interest, and general interest and gives suggestions on how to find a workable plan if those differences aren't changeable. The author discusses how our U.S. culture encourages complete enmeshment with our partners - so there are no secrets, no boundaries, nothing personal or private away from your partner. The problem with this is that you need to keep your individuality intact in order for a relationship to keep it's spark. It is our differences, the mystery of the "other" that creates passion. Without this you'll be hard pressed to have passion in your relationship. If you do everything with your partner, what new do you have to discuss and share? If you are in the bathroom while your partner does their most unpleasant business, how do you then turn around and see them in a passionate way? (my example, not the author's) This enmeshment is not common abroad. It is better understood overseas that you need to maintain independence and a level of mystery in order to keep passion burning. Significantly more marriages fail in the U.S. than abroad and perhaps this is why. By keeping your independence and NOT being an open book who does nothing without your partner you maintain the mystery and interest needed for passion. A passionate marriage is a happy and fulfilling marriage. Don't give up your favorite things or your activities with friends. Make time to go out with your best friends without your partner. Did you have a favorite activity pre-partnership that you never do anymore? Go do it - alone or with friends. Don't make every activity be with your partner - it's just too much. Then, when you come together you have different things to share, unique experiences and that difference, the mystery is intact. The author explains this whole concept so much better than I do - you really must read this book. I'd say it is my favorite book on relationships - and I read tons of books on that kind of thing(I'm in a doctorate of psychology program). There are, of course, individual differences in passion levels, sexual interest levels, and personal activity levels as well. These differences, and how to find a workable plan to satisfy those differences, are also discussed in the book. Essentially it tells you how to optimize the passion and interest, and then work from there to find a place that meets both partner's intimacy level needs. Summary: The U.S. has a different perspective on how relationships ought to be compared to abroad. The U.S. also has a significantly higher rate of divorce and relationship unhappiness. The premise of this book is that we become too enmeshed with our partner and lose our individuality. This kills passion, which needs difference and mystery to exist. This is understood abroad and relationships are handled differently there. The book demonstrates this theory through easy to read client examples and offers suggestions on how to return independence and passion to a relationship.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #6,114 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #4 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality #7 in General Sexual Health #9 in Sex & Sexuality |
| Customer Reviews | 4.6 out of 5 stars 9,914 Reviews |

## Images

![Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61zg44QAJlL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ a book to own about having a meaningful relationship with your partner and wanting to grow
*by L***R on August 3, 2025*

This book is so well written, I cannot even begin! Holy cow is Esther Perel brilliant, kind, thoughtful and passionate. Her schooling scintillates and her language simmers. It is clear she has complete command of her subject and is dedicated to improving the lives of couples. The way she writes and educates brings back love to relationships. This is a book everyone should read and study.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Excellent book for couples and singles! Offers a fully different perspective
*by K***R on October 11, 2010*

This is a really, really great book on navigating relationships and is great for both couples and singles. Based on the title you may think it is all about sex. However, to me, it is all about maintaining "who you are" and a healthy amount of independence or distance within the relationship so that the spark and passion stays strong between you. A spark doesn't happen without a bit of distance that it can arc across. This is true for passion and interest in relationships too. The book is written by a European who has been living in the U.S. and working as a therapist here for years. Through her background she has identified key issues in the way we handle relationships in the U.S. that are actually killing the passion. It does also discuss the differences between one partner and another in relation to passion, sexual interest, and general interest and gives suggestions on how to find a workable plan if those differences aren't changeable. The author discusses how our U.S. culture encourages complete enmeshment with our partners - so there are no secrets, no boundaries, nothing personal or private away from your partner. The problem with this is that you need to keep your individuality intact in order for a relationship to keep it's spark. It is our differences, the mystery of the "other" that creates passion. Without this you'll be hard pressed to have passion in your relationship. If you do everything with your partner, what new do you have to discuss and share? If you are in the bathroom while your partner does their most unpleasant business, how do you then turn around and see them in a passionate way? (my example, not the author's) This enmeshment is not common abroad. It is better understood overseas that you need to maintain independence and a level of mystery in order to keep passion burning. Significantly more marriages fail in the U.S. than abroad and perhaps this is why. By keeping your independence and NOT being an open book who does nothing without your partner you maintain the mystery and interest needed for passion. A passionate marriage is a happy and fulfilling marriage. Don't give up your favorite things or your activities with friends. Make time to go out with your best friends without your partner. Did you have a favorite activity pre-partnership that you never do anymore? Go do it - alone or with friends. Don't make every activity be with your partner - it's just too much. Then, when you come together you have different things to share, unique experiences and that difference, the mystery is intact. The author explains this whole concept so much better than I do - you really must read this book. I'd say it is my favorite book on relationships - and I read tons of books on that kind of thing(I'm in a doctorate of psychology program). There are, of course, individual differences in passion levels, sexual interest levels, and personal activity levels as well. These differences, and how to find a workable plan to satisfy those differences, are also discussed in the book. Essentially it tells you how to optimize the passion and interest, and then work from there to find a place that meets both partner's intimacy level needs. Summary: The U.S. has a different perspective on how relationships ought to be compared to abroad. The U.S. also has a significantly higher rate of divorce and relationship unhappiness. The premise of this book is that we become too enmeshed with our partner and lose our individuality. This kills passion, which needs difference and mystery to exist. This is understood abroad and relationships are handled differently there. The book demonstrates this theory through easy to read client examples and offers suggestions on how to return independence and passion to a relationship.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Good Read
*by A***. on March 12, 2025*

Helped me to think differently about romantic relationships, singleness and marital expectations. Explained perspectives I had come across through dating but couldn’t understand or relate…this book helped me to understand my past encounters. There were things I disagreed with but still found worthwhile. Other perspectives were shocking, brand new and liberating.

## Frequently Bought Together

- Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
- Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

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*Product available on Desertcart Portugal*
*Store origin: PT*
*Last updated: 2026-03-16*