Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself

This book was exactly what i needed, and I continue to go back to it. I read on kindle first which is probably good because the length was less intimidating. But I bought the paperback So I could go back through the chapters and reread hearts that I need. I will continue to go back to this book and review the concepts and exercises. Two help develop my ability to be not nice. I don't mind the repetition and informal tone; it made it fun to read and helps the concepts stick.

This book has so much great advice for people who have struggled with going through life being too nice and being people pleasers. It’s a long read with a lot to process but it is definitely worth it!

I picked up this book for obvious reasons, and In Dr. Aziz, I found a highly relatable, humorous, compassionate, and effective teacher. I now have a plan to male myself less “nice,” but more authentic, honest, and able to live life without crushing social anxiety. I couldn’t be more hopeful moving forward with these tools!

There have been a number of best selling books recently that speak words of wisdom of how to not give a F— in order to be free and live the good life. What those books leave out are the internal thought patterns that trap people in their heads and causes them to be nice to others even at their own expense.At first glance, ‘Not Nice’ appears to fit this pattern. Because only a jerk would want to not be nice to others right!? What makes Dr. Aziz’s approach different is that is explains in detail the reasons why we accommodate, appease, and seek people’s consideration and approval. The fact is we very much care about what people think of us and by pleasing others, giving them everything they want, and never creating discomfort, we will be accepted. Unfortunately, as many nice people know, always accommodating lowers your personal energy and leaves you drained. Eventually you become angry at others and yourself for allowing it to happen.Dr. Aziz lays out the reasons why we learned from an early age to be proper and respectful at times. It continues into adulthood where we experience anxiety and stress that consumes our social, romantic, and professional interactions. We become so pressured to be accepted by others that it manifests itself as physical symptoms that arise from this anxiety. Dr. Aziz shares his personal stories of anxiety causing symptoms because of the mental toll caused from always people-pleasing and always accommodating others. He lists the specific tools necessary to be your own #1 advocate and take better care of yourself without always feeling so guilt about this. Dr. Aziz makes it clear that making significant change takes direct action and consistency. Fortunately, he provides a multitude of case studies and scenarios to illustrate how to get started.In the second part of the book, Dr Aziz speaks on how to reshape your mentality and take action. It’s not about becoming mean or cold towards others. It’s about bringing your bold and authentic self into the light for others to appreciate. At the core of ‘Not Nice’ is a passionate plea to not compromise yourself in life. Only by acknowledging and accepting your thoughts and attitudes can you begin to advocate for yourself. I have noticed in my brief application of some techniques from this book, how people are surprised that I pushed back at a request or spoke for myself for a chance. The anxiety is still there but I feel better about it. Plus others respect me more than I thought they would.‘Not Nice’ is an excellent and refreshing take on how to be your own best advocate. It’s well researched and contains a lot of material. But ultimately it’s just a guide; you still have to apply it in the real world consistently for it to work. If you are ready to step outside of your comfort zone to be a better you, this book is a great introduction.

A friend of mine has noticed that I was a person that was always playing nice. We've been friends for over 2 year's. I am forever grateful that I have bought this book. Everything that I was doing made a lot of sense. I always felt like I wasn't worth starting with my family in my early childhood. I was a sheltered child, and then it just got worse when I was in my first relationship with a girl named Kayla. We broke up back in May of 2020. Towards the end, I didn't feel like I was worth it. So I sought validation from my social circle or friends for awhile.Thank you Dr.Aziz for writing this book. 10/10 would recommend

This book feels like it was written for me. Everything that Dr. Gazipura writes about felt very relatable for me. I appreciate the balance of theory, stories, and actionable steps and exercises you can do to take action and push your own progress forward. Another aspect of this book that I found to be enormously helpful is that Dr. Gazipura has done this work for himself and can speak from his own experiences (and shows his own vulnerability in this... he knows how hard it is to do this work because he has done it/is doing it himself!), in addition to research and experiences as a therapist with his clients. I am someone who has had therapy already, but am not currently in therapy, and this book feels like the perfect in-between guide for me at this time in my life when I am not in crisis and have done some work of my own, but found myself needing guidance to help me stand up for myself and my own needs, while not freaking out on people. I initially bought this for help with creating firmer boundaries for myself at work, but it has already also helped me in my relationship to begin to assert myself and become a more confident and emotionally reliable partner. Some people have written reviews that note that there are some typos in the Kindle version, which I did notice, but the content has felt too valuable for me to get distracted by this. I will be re-reading this book for a while. Thank you, Dr. Gazipura for writing this and for doing the work you do! This is a life-changing book for me.

This book has so much depth to it. I’ve read a lot of books on people pleasing and boundaries and this one is one that I will continue to recommend to people. If you have ever struggled with knowing what you want or putting yourself first or even thinking, it’s OK to put yourself first, this book will help you. As a chronic people pleaser, I found the layout in the exercises in this book extremely helpful. I’ve been writing about these topics for years and considered writing a book but now I will just recommend this book.

Interessantes Buch mit vielen verschiedenen Ansätzen

I don't usually leave book reviews but this one has had a profound impact on my life - no exaggeration. You really need to read the book, and take the information in. I personally didn't do many of the exercises in there, but I made a clear mental note of what I was reading, and made notes on the paragraphs and quotes from the book that I thought would help me best.I ordered this book a while ago, and after reading it I completely forgot it existed. I randomly had a thought about it today and looked over the past few months and I can honestly say I feel so much more confident in myself...I went on holiday a couple of weeks back and went solo to a Jet Ski tour company, as a shy introvert, doing anything alone like this would have absolutely scared me to death a year ago, but I breezed through it. There are tons of other examples of me being more confident and generally standing up for myself.My success may not be 100% related to this book, I've been on a wild journey reading a few other books and also getting some therapy, but I genuinely thing this book was the catalyst that made me realise how bad my nice guy tendencies where, and how much more worthy I am to be treated with respect, strongly express my boundaries and be fearless when telling people my needs and how I feel. Truly amazing.

Lo he comprado ya dos veces. Una en libro físico (lo tengo lleno de post-its y notas) y el otro en digital ... porque así me va más cómodo para resumir lo importante en una libreta..Aziz es increíblemente sabio, ojalá tradujera sus libros al español y le viéramos más por redes, porque este hombre tiene MUCHO que ofrecer. Me ha ayudado enormemente su trabajo. Thanks Aziz!

I have suffered from being too nice and a people pleaser. I got reference of this book from a udemy course that I had taken up. I could relate with this book so much.. As I kept on reading I felt, yes it is me 101. I have read a book earlier on people pleasing but the difference between that book and this is it is from the author who himself has suffered from it, so the tips are so practical and so liberating once I started putting it in to action. I have found this book very useful and it has given me a new belief in my self and confidence. I am looking forward to read other books on confidence by Dr. Aziz.