Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) Paperback – May 9, 2000

So full of important information and advice for parents, grandparents, and caretakers. I wish every adult in my child's life would read this. Both husband and I read it, and it's wonderful to be on the same page as far as safety and trusting other adults.

I read it first when my kids were little, over 30 years ago. Author is an incredible expert, who writes simply and easy to understand.I cannot recommend this book enough, and an so thankful to the person who originally gave a copy to me. I believe it’s contributed to the safety of my kids their whole lives, and now my grand kids. Every chapter has valuable info. Read this now!!!

Mr de Becker writes about violence and personal safety. The short explanation is he had a violent childhood and instead of growing up and becoming violent, he grew up and runs a bodyguard/ safety consultation company.A lot of what he has to say, be more aware of your surroundings and trust your gut, feels like common sense to me, however, although it is common sense, I do not practice it 100% of the time. The reason I don't practice it 100% of the time, and the reason it is not "common" sense to a lot of people is that a lot of us have been brought up in the modern world to be "nice", to be polite, to want to be liked, and, perhaps most centrally, to entrust our safety to professionals (police), and trust all the polite people around us. While that does work a lot of the time, our intuition, and just general awareness is something that has evolved over the millenia to keep us safe, our bodies as well have evolved over the millenia to fight and protect.In a nutshell, de Becker writes to encourage us to use our brains/ intuition to take care of ourselves more, and to not be afraid to use our bodies for violence when it is the last resort. It is very interesting and encouraging to read about how to do that.A lot of what he wrote is a more detailed version of certain parts of his other book, the Gift of Fear, which I highly recommend. A lot has been added that concerns children in particular, so I would recommend this for anyone who has or deals with children, but perhaps recommend the Gift of Fear first, and especially for those without children.Sprinkled throughout Protecting the Gift (and the Gift of Fear) are short anecdotes of people who were attacked or abused and how the situation ended up. Some end up well, some in failure. My favorite was the mother who fought off a dangerous attacker ONE-HANDED while holding her baby in her other hand.

I read it in two days. It’s well-written and compelling. One book that every parent who loves their child should read AT LEAST once. He misuses some firearm statistics in his appendix and seems to be biased against law-abiding citizens having guns, instead of the criminals who commit crimes with them. Setting that minimal aspect aside, I cannot recommend this book enough. Get it. And read it, don’t let it sit there.

This is not comforting reading. It is disqueting and worrying, and that is its merit. It is meant to wake us parents up from our complacency about our children's safety.Having read Mr De Becker's "The Gift of Fear", I wasn't surprised to see many of the themes popping up. But most of the book is new. I could only recognize one of the many stories De Becker tells to ilustrate his points.Particularly stuck in my mind is the fact that much common wisdom is plain wrong. Telling children not to talk to strangers is worse than useless: it is dangerous, since the children will sometimes (when lost, during an emergency, etc.) need to rely on the kindness of strangers, and to that end it is much better if they have talked to strangers under their parents' watchful gaze. The same goes for looking for a policeman, or the manager. His rule about getting help from a woman, since women are much less likely to be dangerous to children than men, makes absolute sense. Also, relying on children to take care of themselves if illusory: if parents lose sight of their children, how can the children be expected to keep an eye on their parents? I fully share De Becker's rage at people (and parents) who are in denial about risks about their children. And I agree that telling children that every place other than home is dangerous is a way to blind them to real dangers thay may beset them.Not being an American, I am baffled by a certain obsession with not giving offense to particular groups by stating plain truths. Males are more dangerous to children and teenagers than women. Teenage girls are more susceptible to predatory males than teenage boys, who are more likely to be violent than the girls. "Partners" are much, much more dangerous to children than their biological fathers are. Having a gun in the house (or, indeed, a culture that legalizes such gun ownership) puts children at risk. Having both parents work outside of the house is a risk factor regardless of the quality of caregivers the parents are able to provide. Although Mr De Becker gamely acknowledges these facts, his constant "non-judgementalism", even where (pejorative) judgement is perfectly justified was a bit jarring to this reader. Hence the four star rating. He also says that nearly 100% child molesters are heterosexual white males. That may be true, but somehow it doesn't mesh easily with public knowledge of abuses by homosexual pedophile priests. I believe that homosexuals are at least as likely to sexually abuse children as are heterosexuals. I would haver appreciated if Mr De Becker had confirmed or dispelled this perception. I understand he doesn't want to alienate readers with politically contentious statements, but c'mon!Other than these minor matters, this is a useful book. It is full of practical advice, useful acronyms and jolting stories. If, like me, you have a child and wish to care for his safety in the best possible way, you are unlikely to do better than begin here.

For parents who discount their intuition - any parent must read both Gift of Fear and this book.

I bought it used , in a very good condition. It’s a bargain really

Every concerned parent should read this and also read it with their children. Best book on dealing with harmful and dangerous situations regarding children and people who intend to harm them. It’s straightforward and lacks the eye-rolling emotional handholding of many other books. It gets to the point, ruthlessly smacks you in the face about the ugly realities that your children face and gives a parent tools to guide and protect their kids. While it is blunt and doesn’t hold back about ugly realities, it is ultimately reassuring because it provides insights and tools about how to deal with those realities. Best book on this topic that I have read this far. Am going to be giving this book as a gift to all my friends with kids.

Quand on est parent, la sécurité de ses enfants est une préoccupation majeure. Ce livre s'appuie sur des exemples concrets et donne des solutions faciles à mettre en œuvre. Il aide à prendre conscience de l'absurdité de certaines injonctions qu'on peut donner aux enfants : "ne parle jamais à des inconnus", "va faire la bise à la dame" etc. Surtout il nous apprend que l'enfant est un acteur important de sa propre sécurité, qu'il faut faire confiance à son instinct.C'est vraiment un livre important à lire, même si le sujet abordé est anxiogène, l'approche de l'auteur n'est pas du tout alarmiste. Il montre qu'au final il est relativement facile de prendre les mesures nécessaires pour éviter autant que possible les prédateurs.

You might think you know the essential things tot protect your children but you might still learn some more. I did.It's a very good read and I also comment the other books by Gavin De Becker.