Diane KeatonBrother & Sister: A Memoir

I bought this book after reading the Washington Post article framing Diana as neglecting her mentally ill brother and now pretending to feel guilty, and to make a buck with this book. I had a mentally ill brother and I was curious. Diane did not neglect Randy and her family, including Diane all did what they could to help him. Diane's telling of her family dynamics and her career aspirations was well balanced and descriptive. It was not a Diane Keaton ego trip.

A small canvas, as befits such a big subject. An ordinary family, one big sister, one little brother, Mom, Dad, middle-class sunny southern California in the 50s. The family’s Brownie Kodak camera snaps away: more kids, family trips, big smiles. And then, almost casually, detail by detail, a portrait begins to emerge. How things go wrong - inevitably, or inexplicably, or both. Kids and marriages and pain so baffling and inchoate it’s hard even to name, are glimpsed, then recognized, then endured - and when, all passion spent, felt as love.At the end is loss and regret, mystery and futility, love which cannot change a thing – the only thing that matters, and even that, unheard. Abject “failure”; soaring “success.”At the heart of reading is, of course, an imagined self – you. How would you feel if, to save yourself, you ran, ran, ran from intractable trouble, and for it, gained the world; but left behind someone unable to move, whom once you loved perfectly. And maybe still do.Most of us have families. Mine was nothing like Keaton’s. Only the pain of time and childhood, time and longevity (start packing?), time and the future, is the same.

I saw Diane Keaton speak about this book before I read it. It is incredibly insightful and well put together. A quick read but very deep. Certainly gets to the essence of family and differences. How each of us can come from the same parents but not until later in life do we realize that we are all individuals and that our parents and siblings have their own flaws and demons. I read this book in one day. I think that says it all.

This book is an engrossing, quick read. As anyone who has siblings can attest to, it's always amazing how individual personalities and life experiences can override what seems to be almost identical upbringings. Such is the case with Diane and her brother who went from being an overly sensitive, anxious child to a reclusive alcoholic as an adult. Diane seems to feel some guilt over living her life and not always being there for her brother. However he was usually recalcitrant and resistant to any attempts to help him and it certainly seems like the family did as much as they could for him. You can lead a horse to water...The book showcases a major problem with the US healthcare system however when the family manages (with a big donation to the UCLA Dept of Surgery) to get Randy moved up on the transplant list thereby circumventing the entire pre-transplant process including the required trip to alcohol rehab. It's no shock to the reader (as I'm sure it wasn't to the family) when Randy informs his healthcare providers post surgery that he has no intention of following their instructions and almost immediately returns to drinking. There are thousands of people in the United States waiting for livers and perhaps the person who was the first match on the list for the liver Randy took died while another match was being sought. I don't fault the family here as I'm sure that many people, given the opportunity to save a loved one's life, would do anything out of desperation no matter how unethical. The hospital however should not have let a liver transplant be dependent on a famous family member and/or a big donation. Shame on them.The family pictures that are included are great as are the picture's of Randy's collages.

We know her as spunky, eccentric, quirky and free-spirited. We love her fashion sense and decorating expertise and admire her longevity in film.⠀
Her newest book, BROTHER AND SISTER, gives a rare, inside look into the upbringing of Diane and her younger siblings, Randy, Robin and Dorrie. This book focuses on the complicated relationship with her brother, two years her junior. Diane and Randy were born in a typical 1950’s middle-class home to a doting mother and a hard-working father. As their family income increased, so did the size of their homes and their family unit.⠀
Randy is a deeply passionate poet (many of his beautiful works are woven within the book) and an artist with an equally complicated mind. Creative genius is often disguised as ‘disturbed’ or ‘peculiar’ and such was the life that Randy led. Succumbing to alcohol as a task-master, Randy’s familial relationships crumbled. ⠀
What is the responsibility of a family member when another continually pushes you away? This is a common question asked by all matters of families. As Keaton’s career began to rise, she shares of the extreme difficulties and loss she was experiencing in her family home. She wrote of specific movies (movies I have watched and loved) and what was simultaneously going on with her family. I see the movies in a completely different light now, imagining the difficulty she must have had while trying to work PLUS care for extended family members.
As so many of us are want to do, she asks herself if she did enough. Was I too closed-off? Should I have done more? Questions that haunt many of us while dealing with dysfunction of any kind.
I read this book in just a few sittings, but it is not an easy read. Keaton’s voice is heard within each story regaled. Her awkward optimism evident throughout. As a reader it is a bit jolting when we fully realize how ‘everyday’ our on-screen heroes are. This book shines a spotlight on that truth. ⠀
Perhaps this book will help you better understand that you are not alone. That family is not always easy and yet, as the years climb, our desire for understanding and our acceptance of reality reaches a more peaceful coexistence.⠀
I appreciate Keaton’s willingness to lift the veil on such a beautifully entangled area of her life. I am certain many will find a sense of commonality among her words.

Dieser Randy ist kaum zu ertragen, weder mit noch ohne schizoide Episoden. Warum man eine 'bessere Schwester' sein soll oder hätte sein müssen, erschliesst sich wohl nur der amerikanischen Leserschaft. Lesenswert ist es gleichwohl als eine typische Familiengeschichte des modernen Amerika.

nice to know more about Diane Keaton