Your Blue Is Not My Blue: A Missing Person Memoir

I don't usually write book reviews--simple laziness--but in this case I really felt I had to state an opinion. During this time of COVID-19, I know that most of us are saying in, and that MANY (not all) of us are probably reading more than we usually do. Even though Kindle books are relatively inexpensive, why waste money on bad literature when there's so much good to choose from? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS BOOK IS SO POPULAR!!! Since I'm a senior citizen, I feel that life is too short to read something you don't enjoy and aren't learning anything from. I often buy Kindle books, give a book a reasonable shot, and delete it from my library if it simply doesn't engage me. The fact is that just about anything can get published today, and once an author makes a little ripple in the literary ocean, he/she is pressured to produce something else. I wish there were a way to get your money back, as in "I wasted four hours of my life on this..."I really hate to be harsh, and there were redeeming aspects to this memoir. Ms. Matis writes beautiful metaphors and descriptions. She can paint a picture with her words. I'm impressed with her knowledge of botany, wildlife and all aspects of the wilderness. In that sense, she shows great promise. However, I can't understand what world she was raised in--she had to have been the most immature or naïve young women ever to hit a college campus. Very few girls start college so innocent. Even if a girl isn't actually sexually active, literature on sexual harassment in the workplace, rape on college campuses (and indifference on the part of college authorities), date rape, the dangers of online dating and all the rest are everywhere you turn. The "Me Too" Movement was big news for a few years as well--many women HAVE learned to speak up for themselves and to pursue justice when necessary.I don't mean to minimize her trauma; sexual assault is painful and humiliating. But instead of speaking to her parents (who are lawyers no less and should have been more astute!) she engages in yet more risky behavior by cutting herself off from society and embarking on a long and dangerous hike through the wilderness. Of course, she then meets Justin--hiking all alone, also cut off from society and avoiding contact with HIS family too. Didn't a bell go off in her head? Humans are social animals--it is totally NOT NORMAL to avoid the society of other humans. Even monks and mystics require some human interaction, although it might be minimal. Solitary confinement is considered to be one of the worst punishments imposed on prisoners. Crazy people cut themselves off from a society that "doesn't understand" them--think Ted Kaczynski, the Unibomber, who was descending into madness. (Ted had to go into town occasionally too--to get supplies and mail his packages.)I'm an introvert myself, and I enjoy nature and find solace in peaceful, quiet environments. But I would never, even when I was young, have put myself in the precarious position Ms. Matis did when she embarked on her hike. Many young people need a break from college at some point to "find themselves" whether or not they've suffered some personal trauma. (I know it's a cliche, but getting a degree today is not only a big commitment but also a big expense--many young people flounder around for a time and discover they were on a career path that wasn't right for them, for one reason or another.) After a frightening experience, it's perfectly normal to want to draw inward to lick one's wounds, so to speak--it's how we introverts handle pain/fear/grief. But this was way too extreme. At some point, Ms. Matis should have realized that. And her parents absolutely should have gotten her into counseling--she was still a minor and they should have felt an obligation to step in and DO SOMETHING! In this day and age, we know better than to sweep a traumatic thing like rape under the carpet and pretend it won't have any impact. Too embarrassed to discuss it, too embarrassed to see a counselor who would keep the matter confidential and allow the client to deal with it slowly and, hopefully, with compassion; too embarrassed to speak to a close friend or relative who might provide some much-needed guidance. But it is perfectly OK to write an article in a widely read publication, naming names and blaming parents, school authorities, etc. Blame everybody except the creep who carried out the rape.I found this book to be pretty bizarre; the whole sequence of events was really barely believable. It was obvious from the beginning that Justin was a troubled young man, and I found myself fearing that Ms. Matis would come to some harm at his hands--narcissists and sexual predators are known to be very "charming" (her words) and magnetic when one first meets them. However, in the end, all Justin did was disappear. Thank God he didn't leave her "with child" as the old saying goes.Again, I'm sorry to seem so harsh, but today we teach our kids, especially girls, that there are bad people in the world--people and situations we must avoid. Young women must take steps not to put themselves in compromising positions, like inviting strange boys into one's dorm room, or attending a frat party alone. Even walking certain neighborhoods alone after dark can be risky (which she does FREQUENTLY in New York after Justin disappears, when she isn't even familiar with the area.) These are basic precautions that we all learn in life; in some situations, even males are at risk. Little boys have to be taught not to talk to strangers or approach anyone's car; older males can get beaten and mugged--even killed--in the course of a robbery. The world has never really been a safe place--the modern world has its own peculiar hazards, and having your trusty cell phone with you isn't always much protection--that would be the first thing I'd steal if I were a criminal! No use allowing your intended victim to dial 911.I forced myself to finish the book--I'd invested too much time into it already. I won't be a "spoiler", but in the end she comes to some profound realizations...profound for a girl much younger than she. Again, you would think she was the first young woman to be "disappointed" in love! And that's all she was--simply disappointed. Justin was never abusive, didn't steal money or anything from her to feed his addiction, didn't humiliate her in front of her friends and didn't, as far as anyone knows, cheat on her sexually. He was docile and fairly harmless, but suffering from his own peculiar immaturity. I've known many women who have suffered worse--ALOT WORSE.I feel Ms. Matis has great promise as a writer, but reading this book was like reading a teenager's diary. The book was much too egocentric, and the characters painted in stark black and white, all good or all bad. She needs time, maturity and experience in order to write a more balanced (and interesting) story. Her worldview is just too narrow. To be honest, I found myself wondering if this was actually a "memoir" at all. This book might be of interest to a teen or twenty-something, but I really can't see how a normal adult could find this to be engaging. It might even make sense if it took place in the mid-20th century, with all the rigid standards of behavior for women that prevailed at that time; but now, in the 21st century, the whole tale begs belief. I won't be buying any more of her works, I can assure you. Kindle readers--just because something purports to be a "best seller" don't assume that it's really any good. And I mean that sincerely. My apologies to the author on this one. And I hope that Justin, if he even exists, finds the help he needs.

First, if you think this is a missing person memoir in the typical sense then it is not. No one went missing. Only hiking through woods.Her writing is decent but I’m not a huge fan.Half the book is her describing every little thing, there is a lot of pages wasted when you sit here saying things like “the New York asphalt was as black as charcoal under the burning fire” for almost every word.If you are a person who enjoys that then you will enjoy this book. I generally do not enjoy books from people who grew up entitled, If you do, then this is a book for you.In my opinion she was a huge brat, complaining about the most trivial things, and I did not sympathize with her at all.Spoiler Alert!Outside of the rape incident which was very sad. There was nothing special or compelling about her life.She makes out like the things that happened to her are exceptionally special. Generally I read some pretty intense memoirs and biographies so I guess maybe for someone who grew up with wealthy parents in suburbia, her circumstances are “special”.1. It’s not special to me that she needed her husband to put her contacts in for her, that’s so dumb to me that she revisits that so often.2. It’s not special to me she got married at 20 and divorced at 24 like she’s soooo young to get divorced. That’s not out of the ordinary to me.3. Okay you didn’t make captain of the ski team, boohoo, so you run off and go hiking and use it as a way to be angry at your parents for years for not “fixing” the situation. Are you serious?!4. Why are you mad at your in laws for not sharing something private from the past (that you unjustly discovered) so you leave abruptly. So entitled.4. Why do you still have your husbands last name? That’s pretty annoying considering you got divorced. Is it for clout?There are other things but these are some things that irritated me.The only reason I am giving it 3 stars is because she was between 20-24 during the book and the brain isn’t developed until 25 so I will give that excuse for how much her character and book is lacking.I really thought there would be so much drama the way she set up the anticipation. I thought someone would go missing. I thought her husband had a much bigger agenda than stated in the book. It felt mostly underwhelming.The one thing I will say is that I am glad that she reconciled with her family and seemed to realize the errors of her ways.

Gosh, a story about nothing really. My pet peeves in books are two fold:1. Trying to over do descriptions using flowery fancy writing that bores a reader.2. Stories of other people's travels.There isn't much of a story here. The author comes across as a people user (sorry!) This book made me blue - whatever shade of blue you want.

This book was very easy to read. I reticular enjoyed the way Aspen describes colours in this book especially the colours of the sky. The story is enjoyable and I felt curious reading it.I disagree with some other reviews that have said she comes across as arrogant, I didn't get this impression.

I'm just reading this book and it is certainly holding my attention!The writing style is very attractive and of course the subject matter is intriguing.I think I'm going to thoroughly enjoy it!

The author's style of writing was difficult to wade through. Too many metaphores, too many "dreamy" descriptions. I had to drag myself through it to finish, sifting through the many superfluous words to find the core story. Not a book I'd recommend.

Awful self and indulgent rubbish. Very long and wordy. Complete waste of time ended up skim reading fifty percent with in reading disinterest.