1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3-Step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting (Positive Parenting Guide for Raising Happy Kids)

Words can’t begin to describe how much this book, workbook and program have changed our lives for the better. We have split households and 1-2-3 Magic was recommended to me by my neuropsychologist so I figured why not give it a try it couldn’t hurt? We had tried everything , we attributed much of their behavior outbursts / whining and crying to the divorce years ago and figured they were going through something so we both were at a loss , we were both raised by strict and loving parents and those are the type we wanted to be and we thought we were but the kids weren’t listening and it ended with us just being frustrated ...I felt helpless until I said well what could another book hurt, why not give this a shot? The reviews seemed too good to be true (I’m sure if you’re reading this that is what you’re thinking ). We wanted to try something first ourselves before exploring other options (ie. Play therapy etc) All in all I was able to get the entire family on board on our side and their mothers... even grandparents! And, all I have to say is YES it is true the first few days are a bit brutal , the 4 year old thew more tantrums than I had ever seen but then about a week in it stopped like magic...the 6 year old was listening better and being more respectful and all of a sudden like magic with a simple and calm 1-2-3 peace and structure were restored in our house . As they say it takes a village and If you can get 1 household on it or anyone that watches your children or has a critical constant role in their lives I highly recommend them using this too because I feel that has been a huge factor in the success is having the “entire village” on this program because believe me when I say this works, I don’t think there has been a person I haven’t told about this, even if your kids are perfect angels this book just is a good “manual” to have and may make you think differently, I know it did for me and opened my eyes to so much. Buy the book , you will not regret it!

So I picked up this book based on a reference to better handle my six year old autistic, FASD, ADHD child who is doing well but was becoming more defiant of late. The book is pretty close to the parenting that I have been doing BUT for some important differences. I updated my approach to match the book and BANG! my son snapped right back into being a pretty good kid. I developed my parenting approach over 10 years using trial and error with my kids. This book validated most of my approach but did a lot more such as: 1) Explaining WHY the approach is needed. This is important because you better understand when and when not to use an approach. 2) Goes over the border cases of how to apply an approach and when to seek help (which wasn’t needed by me but is comforting to know). 3) Explains the approach in detail. This is more important than you may think as for example, you may know the basics (counting 1, 2, 3) but the details such as not making a comment or explaining your actions to your child are important! This book explains why that is important and because you know why you shouldn’t talk, you know when to break the rule. I wish I had read this book when my first child was born. It would have saved us all some pain and suffering. There are some tweaks I would recommend for a neural divergent child but they fall within the suggestions of the book and again, because you know why you do things, you know when to break the rules as called out in the book. I strongly recommend this book. If I can use it effectively to manage my speech delayed, ADHD, autistic, FASD child, you can certainly use it effectively on your neural normal child. Happy Parenting! PS: For special needs parents: having a book explaining how you are parenting your child is quite useful. My school district did not provide special training to teachers and special needs aides. Being able to give them a book explaining how to work with him has all kinds of knock on benefits. This will be a book I plan to provide to his teachers at the start of each year!

This book is awsome! It helped me with my 2 year old whenever he had his meltdowns, all parents/ first time parents really do need this, heck even teachers!

I read this after reading “How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen and Listen So Little Kids Will Talk.” I much preferred this book. The good: 1. I like the author’s idea that parents should be warm and friendly but also demanding and firm. I want to have a gentle, loving relationship with my children, but I don’t want to be a pushover either. 2. I also liked the author’s point that the two biggest mistakes in discipline are too much emotion and too much talking. On one hand, we have the “How to Talk So...” book approach, which I believe falls under the too much talking category. Kids have little emotional regulation and often won’t respond like adults do to reasoning and empathy. On the other hand, there are times when parents get too emotional and resort to spanking and yelling, which are harmful. 3. The approach has worked for me so far. My almost 3 year old has responded very well. The bad: 1. The author seems to want you count for almost EVERY offense. “Whining” is one of the offenses he lists and uses in a lot of examples. To me, that is overkill. If you count too much you run the risk of your kid rebelling because you are too strict or unfair. To me, whining and tantrums are best ignored. If you give them too much attention the child will increase the behavior to provoke a response.

My husband and I started reading this book last week after our toddler's behavior hit an all-time fever pitch that left us exhausted, frustrated, and hopeless. We have a very bright, very spirited little boy that can be completely exasperating with his recent tantrums, hitting, arguing, whining etc. We started using the 1-2-3 Magic a few days ago and have already seen a remarkable change in our son'e behavior. Not only that, we feel empowered by our discipline program, and far less frustrated, angry, etc. I have been recommending this book to every parent I know. It's so simple and easy to follow. And I am telling you, the results are almost immediate. The author presents "time-out alternatives," for older children, ie chores. Another reviewer commented that she thought it was "cruel" to give a child a punishment unrelated to the "crime," so to speak. Such as scrubbing a toilet or weeding a flower bed for doing something like hitting their sibling or lying. I completely disagree. The home and family are a community, and when someone does something to damage or disrupt that community, having them do some "community service" or restorative justice is completely rational and appropriate. Of course they will not enjoy the chore. That's the point. So that the next time they are thinking about hitting or lying, they can stop and think about their actions and then decide, "Is it worth having to scrub the toilet/weed the flower bed etc." It places the responsibility of their behavior squarely on their shoulders, so they are empowered to make their own decisions. And besides, are you really going to send your 12-year-old to "time out?!?" Also, think about it this way: a person steals from a store, drives drunk, or hits their wife. VERY often they will be assigned some form of community service. Picking up garbage on the side of the road has nothing to do with shoplifting, but the point is to give back to the community from which they have taken. Get it?

Please do not wait to get this book! I have tried everything for my son who is still undergoing testing for possible ADHD. His father and I have done everything we know to do to help with his "fits" which have been for over 3 years now. Screaming, crying, physical contact, yelling, throwing, etc... Nothing was helping over all. Until his pediatrician recommended 123 Magic. THIS BOOK OPENED OUR EYES! we are still in the beginning stages of implementing the program, but already see a difference. What we thought was proper punishment and disciplining for our children was actually incorrect and the explication of WHY is in the book. My 5 year old son, for the first time ever, came to me and sincerely apologized for being so bad. Never has he done that without being prompted to apologize. Also, if you are like me you feel stressed, tired, and exhausted from your constant struggle to make your little one mind you. Well, this book helps with that too. I experienced an epic fit when we started this and I, for the first time, truly stayed calm, did not get upset, or angry. I can really follow the steps and begin to understand what is happening and HOW to deal with it. Kids aren't born with manuals…. well I disagree its called 123 Magic! If you have a kid this book can help no matter the situation, if your thinking of having kids... read this! It will give you incite on realistic situations and how to deal with it when the time comes, this will also open your eyes on what parenting will take. Im looking forward to planning family vacations now and knowing we all can ENJOY it! Buy the book, read it, and actually stick to it! It will be difficult, but it is WORTH IT! For your kids joy and yours.

The principles in this book are non-negotiable for parents of little kids. Dr. Phelan’s basic principle of counting to three is a tried and true parenting staple since probably Adam and Eve. His examples and explanations, however, seem really diminishing and derogatory towards children. He sees them as monsters that need correction instead of animals learning everything around them (alright that’s an exaggeration, but the point remains). The principles and practices in this book are extremely helpful, but Dr. Phelan’s explanation is subpar at best. I definitely recommend reading this to learn the principles of 123-timeout, bonding with your children, etc. but remember that no one knows your child better than you.

Thank you for writing this book! It's really helped my family! After trying other methods that encourage letting feelings all hang out and too much talk. I totally get what this book is saying now. Children aren't little adults and they don't usually response to reason. I had the best intentions but found myself falling into the talk, persuade, argue, and yell cycle. When the discipline method isn’t effective it leads to frustration on all ends. Time out doesn’t have to be a negative thing either. I know a lot of books these days say so but I don’t see anything wrong with taking a break and having a little quiet time… They can color, play with toys or do a puzzle too. It’s not like you’re putting them in a corner with their face stuck in it. I want to reclaim Time out! It’s an effective anger management technique. Now when my younger son is driving my older son crazy… My older son say “I’m going to my room for alone time.” He knows when he needs a break and it’s totally ok to take one. My kids love this method too because they can understand it. It’s like a discipline routine and gives them a sense of security. For parents who say “my kids should listen the first time". Let me ask you this… If you were at a park and your kid was playing, would you just tell them it’s time to go and leave? Or give then a transition/count down. I see the 1-2-3 counting as a transition to stop the behavior. This book is brilliant on so many levels!!!

We already started to apply whst’s in the book and it’s grest

Just buy it and start applying the principles . You are sure to get results.

Excelente, mas precisa saber inglês

I really enjoyed this book. It was very helpful and has given my husband and I hope that there is something that works for our children. We are starting to see more cooperation and overall positivity from us and the kids.

Brilliant. Really made a difference with our kids and a change in their behaviour. The lack of discussion after testing behaviour is so simple but crazy how effective it is when you get the knack!