Thrill: The High Sensation Seeking Highly Sensitive Person

I'm glad I discovered and read this book: it explained me to myself; and now, I can explain myself better to others.I had known I was a "Highly Sensitive Person" or an HSP, going back about a year or a bit more, from when I saw the author of this "Thrill!" book on the Sensitivity Summit internet videos, around late September 2019. His talks with Melissa Schwartz made me curious if I might be a "High Sensation Seeker," or an HSS, on top of being an HSP. Those informal and fun talks led me to follow up, by buying this book, and then (of course) reading it. I'm glad I saw those videos, and bought this book.As it turns out: yes, I'm an HSS in addition to being an HSP. This is the first book of its type, which makes it invaluable to people like me. There is a growing amount of information "out there" about what it means to be an HSP, but other than this book, I'm not aware of anything that explains the unique mixture of traits, which sometimes seem to almost "work against one another". It is good to be able to read the author's words, in regards to what it means to be seeking novelty and new experiences, while at the same time, trying to avoid overwhelm or burnout. Our (Western) culture pushes, even glorifies, the High Sensation Seeking part of being an HSS - HSP, but if you've read up on being an HSP, you'll know that the D.O.E.S. acronym's "Depth of processing" is very quickly counter-balanced with the "Over-stimulation" part of things ... and with HSS traits thrown in, you're likely to push beyond what's easy for your HSP "side" to handle.To give a personal idea of what being an HSP, intertwined with HSS tendencies, meant for me, in my youth: sometimes, when I was in the Air Force in the 80s, I'd be throwing big parties in my barracks rooms; and people got used to seeing that side of me. I had a small, framed "blown (speaker protection) fuse collection" proudly displayed on my barracks wall, right over my stereo system -- which went over like a Lead Balloon, come Room Inspection day, each month. They'd wonder how I got the room into good enough shape to pass inspection, after having seventeen rowdy people crammed into a ten-foot-by-sixteen-foot room. On some other day, though, someone would show up and knock on my barracks room door, and they would be shocked that, on that day / in that hour, I was just quietly chilling out, and listening to instrumental classical music, while sitting in rocking chair. Or I'd be even quieter than that: I'd have days where I would just be coding up some nerdy computer program on my early 80s home computer (Commodore 64) system, in the barracks. Or I'd be drawing a "get well" picture for someone sick in the hospital.Another example of the "over-stimulated versus laid back" directions that being an HSP, and also an HSS, led me in that same time period. I'd volunteer to be a Designated Driver for others who were going off-base to the few nightclubs or whatever, which is fairly laid back, as far as driving duties go. Then, on other days, I'd be tuning up (and/or testing) someone else's bracket racing / street car. We'd be doing stuff that could have gotten us into lots of trouble, such as doing smoky burnouts in the barracks parking lot, on a Saturday afternoon: making sure things like the car's throttle response were fine-tuned and snappy: fully ready for going to the local NHRA track that a buddy and I sometimes raced our street cars at, on some Sundays. I still have the remains of an axle I snapped in half, from those days: after installing a harsh "shift kit" in my own car's transmission, and after rebuilding that particular engine for higher performance. People would peg me as a hopeless "gear-head" or "trouble-maker" ... then, they'd see me doing things like quietly reading Bloom County cartoon books, or Wonder Warthog comic books ... and doing it so quietly that they initially thought I wasn't "home". They'd literally be surprised, after they'd knock on my door, and I'd "be there".Most people, at that time in my life, couldn't wrap their heads around the extremes. They apparently, in some cases, thought that one extreme or the other was "an act" -- when, in truth, both were "a part of me" even if, logically, they were "opposites". After reading this book, I can see that part ("part"!) of the reason I did the more exciting (and sometimes dangerous) stuff, back in those days, was the people around me were prone to feeling ludicrous amounts of boredom; they had very little dis-inhibition; and they generally NEEDED excitement. Constant, minute-to-minute excitement.I had a vague impression that something like this may have been the case, when I discovered I was an HSP; but it still didn't make total sense, until I saw those "Sensitivity Summit" videos (they were only online for 48 hours each -- sorry!) and was able to see it was possible to be an HSP, on the one hand; and at the same time, to be "pushed, internally" to be seeking novel experiences.When I started finding out about HSPs, about a year ago, my "quieter days" made way more sense.When I found out that HSPs could also be HSS -- HSPs, and got a copy of this book, it all made much more sense.Something that really interests me, and which I credit this author with, is the final puzzle piece from a pair of periods of my life that were, inexplicably, some of the best experiences of my life, up until that point ... but at the same time, they seemed "boring"; at least on the surface. I could never quite get a complete handle on those two periods. This author / this book gave me the last bit of info I needed, to make a pretty good stab at figuring it out: it wasn't the two very calm periods, themselves. It was that they had come right AFTER some VERY over-stimulating periods, where I was around "thrill and adventure seekers," ALL of the time. At the time, the "definitely not boring" periods had their charm and appeal, and I got some good enjoyment out of them ... but what I didn't realize until, literally, decades later, was how much of a "cost" it was having, for me as an HSP, at the time. I was living huge portions of those "intense" or "over-stimulating" periods, in MASSIVE over-whelm to my HSP side ... but I didn't know I was an HSP, decades ago, so I didn't realize how over-stimulated I had been, emotionally.Those MUCH quieter and MUCH less intense periods, in hindsight, turns out to be sort of "forced separations, away from certain (arguably Bad Influences)" who had (as I can now see in hindsight), manipulatively figured out how to get my HSP side to "quit being boring" and at the same time, these same people had learned how to push my HSS side into "about time (from their perspective) you decided to have some fun" mode ... and I managed to allow myself to be, by my standards, VERY out-of-balance ... but, those periods were followed, almost on a schedule that none of us were in charge of, by the periods of anti-intense rest and recuperation that my HSP side desperately NEEDED. In other words: the quiet periods weren't the whole picture. That's why I could never (previously) figure out why those very few, very rare time periods felt so good to me, despite "not really doing much of anything," during those periods. It was rest from something that I hadn't consciously realized had been, pretty much, "trying to kill me". Those "bad influences, going away" put an immediately different vibe into everything. My badly neglected HSP side could finally "lick and heal its many wounds," while my HSS side was "safely put into a double-locked box, somewhere" during those very memorable, very quiet and peaceful, intentionally-under-stimulating periods.Not being able to previously realize that I even HAD two sides, that sometimes wanted "opposite things" to be happy, made it impossible, before, for me to figure out why "the two best periods of my life, back then" felt as wonderful as they had felt. It took a bit of serious detective work, to figure that kind of thing out, but I couldn't have done it at all, without this helpful book!This book is great, in explaining how stuff like that could even happen: after all, it's not something that's easy to figure out, that a person could be easily over-over-over stimulated, while at the same time, actively seeking (at least some) levels of "stimulation".In my case, in the periods BEFORE those "very quiet" periods: reading new-to-me books, every week, would have been what I would have normally done, for "novelty seeking" and thus, I could have very gently fed my HSS side. But that's not what others had in mind, as exciting enough to counter their constant (and almost-beyond-clinical levels of) "I'm bored" mode.I had long ago figured out bits and pieces of the "why" ... but this book gave me the last puzzle pieces, to work it all out well.I had often wondered, years ago, why I wasn't doing things like "reading books" instead of "doing fun stuff" (by the standards of people who were often in trouble with the police, etc., etc.) ... and I had chalked it up to "stresses, in that time period". What I only recently figured out was that the "fun stuff" was "adding to, not taking away from" the overall stresses in my life, then. What I mean is: my HSS side was cheering on the "fun stuff" ... and shouting my HSP side down, entirely, in those periods. And later, my HSP side got to lock my HSS side, totally and completely away, for several (very restful!) months at a time. When I read this book, I could finally make sense of things that never added up. I could see it wasn't just "one me" that was either "happy" or "bored" or "overwhelmed" (or whatever) ... with all of one particular time period ... it was one person, yes, but one person who had two sets of competing interval motivations. After finding out, from this author, about Zuckerman's work with "sensation seeking," and this author's work at figuring out how the HSS tendencies interact with "being an HSP" ... well, I suddenly had more ability to parse things, more finely, and more accurately. I knew where to look. That let me split things much more neatly. I could see that even though I had pushed myself WAY past what made the HSP part of me feel comfortable, in certain periods, that was, at the same time, somewhat counter-balanced with my HSS side being majorly stoked to "be in charge," for once. In wondering if this other person, from my past (whom I have no intention of naming!) might have qualified as an official Bad Influence on me, I looked up some things in the latest copy of the psychiatric world's "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (fifth edition)" and to my surprise, the person most directly responsible for convincing me "not to be boring" in that time period, decades ago, not only seemed to qualify for a possible diagnosis of being or having an "anti-social personality disorder," once, but of doing it "twice" -- by which I mean, this person, a close friend of the time when I was allowing my HSP side to be MASSIVELY pushed beyond it's comfort zone, had, as far as I can now tell, six qualities on the list for ASPD ... and a person only needs three, to qualify for that serious problem. So, in hindsight: I was lucky I wasn't truly "as bad as he was" or we'd likely have gotten our stupid selves killed, seeking excitement? My HSP side, in hindsight, reigned in a lot of the stupider ideas, and rejected some of them, entirely. (Thus helping both of us!) So my HSP side was under sort of "double duress" in that time period: not only keeping myself safe, but this other person, as well. So once I had a chance to get away from the influence of this other, apparently-disturbed-but-usually-hiding-it-somewhat-well, to others like authority figures ... yeah, by then, my "HSP circuits" were basically fried, and needed a "do nothing" time period.In looking back at my sometimes-not-pleasant past (childhood included, unfortunately): that's not the only time I was around others who were fairly disturbed, that I had to sort of "fight against" to have a half-way-sane life, when those people were around. No wonder my HSP side thanked, me, BIG time, when I finally began to find out that boundaries existed, and when I began to "Go No Contact" with people whom I deemed unsafe to be around, or unwise to be around, for one reason or another.My guess, decades ago, before I knew about HSPs or HSS, was that "bad influences" who weren't always around, had pushed me away from "this is too boring" and towards "let's go do something that isn't boring" ... but that never fully made sense. If I was totally an HSP, and only an HSP, I should have just said "Umm, no; that's not gonna happen" to the offers from such people for me to do things like "tune up" high performance street cars in the almost-empty weekend barracks parking lot, and testing things like improved throttle response, by using the painted "park within these lines" as if they were ruler marks, measuring burnout length, before the smoking tires finally "caught" instead of "getting toasty" and leaving all kinds of black tire marks, all over the place.In other words, I always knew it was "my fault, too" and admitted that to myself, but something still didn't add up. All I could figure out, before, was that maybe I had poor boundaries when I was younger (which I did; no doubts there), and assumed I got talked into "misbehaving" way too easily, because of never having been allowed to have boundaries as a kid? But I never felt like I was doing stuff against my wishes; at least not to overwhelming extremes. So, for decades, that didn't make much sense. I could see it from two sides at once, before, and kept wondering, "Well, which one is it?" ... but as it turns out: it wasn't just one, it was both. I can see now that my HSP side had always advised me not to do too-stupid things. It usually "won" in that way; but, around boundary-violating "Bad Influences," my HSS side went along, at times, with the "lets find something fun to do" stuff that was being suggested by people with apparent (if un-diagnosed) mental illness problems.After reading this book, I could figure it all out, way better. (And I can see needs, more than ever, for going "No Contact" with any and all people who might have ASPD, or Narcissisistic Personality Disorder, or similar!)I guess I'm more happy and surprised than ever, that I survived being around various people I was around??I also figured out, thanks to Dr. Cooper's work in putting this great and very helpful book together, that I would do the "exciting" stuff, fairly willingly, and despite (somewhat measured) risks being taken, while my HSS traits were craving some new knowledge I was looking for ... and then, suddenly, right when the (much more "sane" and definitely quieter!?) people that lived in the same or nearby barracks were about to give up on me, as being a Hopelessly Brainless Neanderthal, or at least a Cro-Magnon like they saw some of my friends ... suddenly, I'd get the mastery of techniques, or the raw information I had been seeking, and my HSS side would be satisfied ... so, I'd not only "quit" doing the exciting stuff, but I'd give in to my HSP side, and I'd "play leader" at times, to get the other Cro-Magnons to calm down, for a while. I'd stay that way, with my HSS and HSP sides both happy, for a while. At that point, the "Scrabble-Playing Kids" would be happy with me, that I had shown leadership traits they didn't know I had, and was keeping (relative) order amongst my fellow cavemen types ... then, some new "fascination" (that's another HSS trait: getting deeply involved in figuring stuff out, or learning about new-to-us things) suddenly would become newly attractive to me, and then I'd be off amongst the cavemen types, again: "causing trouble" with them, as others saw it, sometimes. So, just when one group got tired enough of me to consider booting me out of their group, I'd unexpectedly switch back ... and then forth ... and then back ...But, now, after reading this book: I can understand it. I can "parse it" and figure out what had motivated me.As mentioned: this book is the first of its type. If I had a copy of it, back then, I could have explained myself a LOT better, to others, when they (inevitably) tried to figure out my "lack of consistency". My apparently random (to them) motivations never felt that way to me, but they made no sense to the people who were trying to figure me out: either to get me to "calm down, more habitually, or better yet, all of the time" ... or to get me to "quit being boring, so often" and to "loosen up, and have some fun, once in a while". Most people could only keep one out of those two different groups "happy" with them ... but, I could keep both relatively happy ... but not in a way that most people could predict. My competing HSS and HSP sides confused both groups, and any "innocent bystanders" probably felt like they were watching some sort of a weird tennis match or something?But I didn't have a copy of this book, decades ago, because no one did. So this book definitely fills a need, in some people's lives! If you are the kind of person (or you know someone) who sometimes wants excitement, and then, out of the blue, sometimes no amount of outside effort would get them to seek excitement ... maybe reading this book would give you (or them?) enough clues to see if you are an HSP, who is also an HSS?!One very cool thing about this book is that there's lots of "in people's own words" kind of personal stories, from people born with both the HSS "side" and the HSP "side". Finding out how some people managed to keep "both sides of themselves in balance" (better, I presume, than the younger me managed to?!) might be very helpful to someone who "feels pulled in two different directions at once" ... and thus, confuses themselves and others.Had I known I was an HSS, decades ago, I could have turned down some of the "let's find something fun to do; this is too boring" offers, from people I had no business associating with: people who were dangerous to their own selves, quite often, due to their problems regarding dis-inhibitions. I could have avoided things like time periods where I snapped car axles in half; or having way too many cops writing too many tickets (more to the others around me, than to me) ... I could have given my young "HSP side" considerably fewer "heart attacks".So ... if you're still reading this, I think you should definitely buy this book. If nothing else, wanting to give in to the "fascination" of learning more about being a High-Sensation-Seeking version of an Highly Sensitive Person, is, in itself, a sign that you may be an HSS ... and I'm certain the HSP side of you, in that case, would love to be able to better "put the brakes on" your more reckless and/or riskier impulses.And if you're the kind of person who just wants to quietly play boardgames, while excitable idiots (like the younger version of me) are doing things like aggressive / noisy "burnouts" too close to your living quarters for your HSP-tendency's patience, comfort, and serenity attempts ... maybe you can read this book, and think about the other examples given, and in that way, brainstorm up some better ways to get people like the younger me, and my past's sometimes Cro-Magnon / Neanderthal friends, to find less annoying things to do with our time? Or at least, different places to seek our "thrill and adventure seeking" cravings.In all seriousness: I do see an actual need for this book. Not every HSP has to deal with the idea of being internally "pulled in two different directions, at once" but some of us were born that way, and no one ever told us that was the case. Being told "why" might let some of us better balance our sometimes confusing lives?!

I was really looking forward to reading this book, but it is very poorly written. Basic punctuation is missing and some sentences don’t make sense. Ideas are not organized or fully fleshed out. It is clearly self-published. I would return it if the window had not closed.