Reinventing Your Life: the breakthrough program to end negative behaviour and feel great again: the breakthrough programme to end negative behaviour and feel great again

Self-help books tend to be very broad (e.g., self-esteem) or very specific (e.g., depression, panic attacks). Not that this is a problem in itself, but what if your problems seem to float in between these extremes? Moreover, what if you are not entirely sure what your "issues" are, except that you do not like the way your life is going, are struggling in different areas--from relationships to work--and stumped as to where to put your finger on the problem?"Reinventing Your Life," which is based on Jeffrey Young's Schema Therapy, is the all-purpose, or should I say, multi-purpose book for your needs. The first 5 chapters provide the background and theory to understand your problems (what the authors call your "lifetraps") and then provide surveys to help you identify which lifetraps are interfering with your life. After this background theory section, you then only have to read the relevant chapter as each chapter is devoted to a specific lifetrap. Near the beginning of each lifetrap chapter, there's a survey to help you identify the degree to which the lifetrap is interfering in your life. The chapter then goes on to give you specific strategies with which to overcome your lifetraps. In some cases, the authors do recommend therapy in addition to self-help work as the more severe the problem, the more likely a therapist would be helpful.Now you may be wondering, "What is this lifetrap business all about?" A lifetrap can be defined as a pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving (i.e., personality pattern) that has its origins in childhood and is a result of something that was done to us by our parents/caretakers (e.g., over-protection, harsh criticism, physical or sexual abuse, emotional neglect). Lifetraps cause us to become stuck in a repetitive pattern of interacting with others and the world that, time after time, get us into trouble with relationships and/or work. In short, life-traps lead us into self-defeating behaviour that blocks us from fully realizing our potentials and living a happy and successful life.Some of the common lifetraps the authors identify are called Unrelenting Standards (i.e., excessive self-criticism/perfectionism), Mistrust and Abuse, Abandonment, and Social Exclusion. I will briefly describe a few of them. The Mistrust & Abuse Lifetrap involves having a general distrust of others, which interferes with closeness and intimacy, but at the same time, also having a tendency to get involved in abusive relationships. The Unrelenting Standards Lifetrap involves harshly criticizing oneself when not achieving one's goals. Because this lifetrap involves perfectionistic standards (i.e., unattainable goals), this makes it easy for your inner critic to walk all over you when you "fail." You can check out the Table of Contents to see the full list of lifetraps.After coming to a full understanding of your particular lifetrap(s), each chapter then describes specific strategies to help you overcome your self-defeating pattern. To help change unhelpful thinking patterns, rational challenging of your thoughts (a cognitive strategy) and evidence-testing of your beliefs (a behavioral strategy) are suggested, which are based on the idea that changing your thinking and behaviour will change how you feel. One specific cognitive method is to write reminder/coaching cards to yourself. For instance, you could write rational statements that prepare for when you get into a situation you might get into trouble. For instance, let's say you are prone to harsh self-criticism before a high-pressure situation (e.g., a demanding work project). In your mind, if you really attend to what's going on mentally, you may notice such harsh self-talk such as, "You suck!" and "You know you'll fail!" These statements may leave you feeling inadequate, anxious, and unmotivated. Before starting the project, though, you can pull out the coaching card to help you challenge such critical thoughts and get you in a rational head space and more emotionally energized to work. In addition to cognitive and behavioral strategies, the authors also offer experiential strategies.As a psychotherapist, I have used this book with clients and will continue to do so. A person who is committed to changing and willing do the hard work will benefit greatly from its strategies.

As someone who’s done a lot of inner work the past few years I cannot overstate the importance of this book if you suffer from or were raised by adults who suffer(ed) from personality disorders. Although I’d reached a place where I was mostly able to transcend my negative thinking and way of viewing the world, this book finally explained to me how my childhood conditioning poisoned every thought formulated by my personal mind. And this knowledge allowed me to have ever more power to let negative thinking, guilt, shame, insecurity and rejection fall away. This book is helping me heal on an even deeper level than meditation, talk therapy and spirituality because it speaks directly to the cause of each issue I suffer from.This book is not for the faint of heart. In reading this you will be asked to look deeply into a mirror and forced to reckon with the truth about who you’ve become. But the authors guide the reader with love and compassion. There truly is nothing to fear if what you seek is actual self-realization, self-compassion and self-love.Good luck to everyone on this path. It’s the most important work we will ever do. Namaste. 🙏 ✨

Let me start by saying that I've read dozens of self-help books, been in therapy for 4+ years throughout my life, have a Bachelor's in Psychology and did research in a psychology lab for over a year. In other words, I'm pretty familiar with psychology and the way the brains learns. With all that said, **this is one of the best psychology books I've read** (I'd put it above Firestone's "Fear of Intimacy" - both seem to talk about the same issues of schemas but in different ways). This book has provided case studies that reflected my own life, distinct lifetraps (or schemas) that help categorize my issues, and examples of origins that explain when, how, and why these schemas developed in me. I have zero doubt that anyone who reads these pages will not benefit tremendously in their day-to-day functioning afterwards.This book is still 100% a 5-star read for me. The only two downsides are that 1) the book is a bit outdated. However, you can get a pretty good look at your life's history through these pages and look up some more up to date info on schemas/lifetraps online. 2) If your problems are minor (as some of mine are), the book offers solutions that can probably fix those. However, if your problems are deep (as others of mine are) the solutions offered by the book alone won't be enough to fix your problems. I will be in therapy, no doubt. However, the insight it can provide leads you to understand why you are the way you are - a gift I think any of us would cherish and I certainly will. This book's insight has taken the blame, guilt, shame, and self-hatred out of my life that I've carried around for so long for so much of what I have done. There are not many gifts that can surpass a feeling such as that.Buy this book, read it, understand your life, see the reasons why you are the way you are more clearly, and be kinder to others and yourself as a result.

It is a great book .Many people are having different types of Life Traps .But you can get rid of these byreading and following the procedures mentioned in this .It is worth reading .You should it slowly and time and again .Your money is invested will give good results.

Ayuda al autoconocimiento y entender porque ciertas situaciones de la vida nos afectan.

For the first time in my life, I got touched with the DEEPEST human misery. And it's not related with 'war, robbery, natural tragedies'. It's EVERY DAY suffering! I feel 'in debt' with the authors, for their extreme sense of humanity!

Ottimo. Utile, permette di pensare, offre un punto di vista diverso.Meglio di quanto previsto per profondità, accuratezza pur con stile semplice.

Lovely book to figure out where your problems come from in communication, relationships, success, etc