SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies

I picked this book up three weeks after my youngest brother died at the age of 32.I had just arrived at the point in my grief where everyone outside of my family - friends, colleagues, clients - seemed to expect me to have moved on. To the contrary, I felt like I was just beginning.I am so grateful for this book, because it met me exactly where I was (still crying daily, re-living the delivery of the news, the funeral, the burial, unable to focus, frightened and alone) and told me: this is normal, you are normal. You will never be the same again, and that's okay. Don't rush this. You're not alone.Even though the author is a Christian, she doesn't rely too heavily on her worldview to show support. In fact, there's even a chapter on faith that includes her own wrestling with hers. I found that very helpful and remarkably relatable.She also does a good job of demystifying and normalizing the experiences of feeling or dreaming about our lost siblings. It was a strange experience for me - one that I wasn't ready for, but certainly welcome to. Reading the accounts of the author and others who had felt the presence of their siblings and even spoken out loud to them inspired me to do the same, and I found the experience incredibly healing.When I started the book I wasn't aware of the concept of disenfranchised grief or forgotten grievers. But during the time that I read the book, it became clear to me that perhaps the only people who would understand the immense pain I was in were other bereaved siblings. How fortunate that this book - full of helpful words from many grieving siblings - provided such perspectives. Thank you to the author for her incredible work.

This book was very helpful to me, especially when you loose your only sibling, I really liked how the author shared her own experiences when her brother passed away. I recommend this book to anyone who is grieving the lost of a sibling.

Great help for a subject that is not acknowledged enough. The pain is real.

I bought this book after my beloved Twin brother died recently. I found what the author experienced to be true - it's not easy to find a book on the specific topic of "sibling" grief and loss. This book is very intelligent, yet comfortable to read in that it is personal. It is not the more clinical type of look at grief and loss; although it does include those topics as well. It is a good mix of the author as a professional sharing her own story, as well as the material necessary to promote one's understanding of, and guide through, the loss and grief of a sibling. It is a very valuable book for that alone. However, I also found that as I read it, I immediately began to feel less alone. I was surprised but relieved at the same time - someone else had also truly experienced "my type" of pain and loss. She captures the totality of both a person's thoughts and feelings when grieving a sibling. It is unique in it's own right because of that, I think. When I found this book in the sea of grief books that were available, I felt I had not been forgotten about because it was geared directly toward siblings. That in and of itself made a big difference to me. I needed this particular book and I didn't even know it until I started reading it!.

Great book for grieving loss

My sister who is 11 yrs. older had been my EVERYTHING to me after our parents passed away !! She was my strength ,my biggest fan and always encouraged me to "go for it "-Don't wait for things to fall in my lap ! She was my everything and beyond that--how could I ever pick up the pieces in my life and go on living without her helping me ?! I sent for this book to try to help myself where she left me to "go it on my own" ! I had many doubts there was any hope (out there) for me ! SLOWLY-LITTLE by LITTLE I have been given a new lease on the meaning of life on my own as I read this wonderful book a little at a time ! It's ok to have the feelings I do !

I bought this for my daughter, we just lost our son to suic!de and this book has really helped her. It’s a must read in a horrible situation

This book was first recommended to me by a hospice nurse after my middle sister died of cancer 10 years ago. It took me 3 months to finally pick it up and read, but once I did the healing of my broken heart began. I have since lost my youngest sister to a brain tumor, but turned back to this book once again to pull me through. I've purchased this book for everyone of my friends that have lost a sibling. Most recently I lost a dear friend to cancer who left behind a devastated younger sister. This book was the first thing I thought of for her. Bought it and told her to read it when she's up to it. There are other books out there that deal with the loss of a sibling (not too many focusing specifically on a sibling), but this one is hands down the best one out there.

I am a bereaved sibling and I have underlined almost everything on this book...The feelings described by siblings are exactly what I wanted to say and couldn't find the words.... and only bereaved siblings would understand this "undescribable" and overwhelming loss that changes your life forever.

The death of my brother damn near drove me to a nervous breakdown. This book was very helpful for me. I have since bought several copies for friends who have also lost a sibling. Would highly recommend this book for anyone who is grieving the loss of a sibling, whether it was sudden or expected.

If you're like me, having lost a brother or sister and feel isolated and alone in your grief, this is for you.Everything in the book is pretty much verbatim for what I've experienced so far on my journey in grief.It's comforting to know I'm not alone.And I'm not imagining what I'm feeling!All the way through, I find myself saying 'YES!!, Im experiencing the exact same thing'I'm so grateful that someone has addressed sibling grief.Thank you TJ Wray.

That’s all I need right now in this never ending tearful journey of mine....

We think we will live forever but sadly that isn’t true. Having lost one of my brothers just over two years ago and having attended two funerals already this year, one is reminded of how fragile and how short life can be. We will all have our own way of coping after the death of a loved one, and there is no set timeline to bereavement. Wray hits the nail on the head when she writes ““I’m not the person who I used to be.” Every loss changes us; you’ll never be the person you were before your brother or sister died.” The same could be said for any close friend/relative who has died.Well written book, setting out the main stages of bereavement (e.g. shock, denial, anger, depression, acceptance) and includes an interesting chapter on grief dreams. It’s a book individuals can dip into depending on where they are/how they feel.Really liked the myriad of quotes given by individuals who had lost a sibling. Anyone suffering from sibling bereavement will be able to feel empathy with their experiences and feelings.A book that will help individuals directly impacted by the loss of a loved one and for those trying to help someone through bereavement. Highly recommend.