I Have A Bad Feeling About This

Sixteen-year-old Henry who is a geek and afraid of everything including sea horses and lobsters get talked into going to a Survival Camp run by a scary looking dude named Max, by his parents and his best friend Randy. He arrives there and there are only three other campers there beside him and Randy. Stu, Jackie, who has green hair and is younger than the rest of them, and Erik, who is more adept than the rest of them. Max tells them to turn over the electronics they weren't supposed to bring or it will be destroyed when he finds it. So they madly scramble to give over phones, iPods, game boys, and the like. But Jackie is holding out and Max stomps on it. Henry for some reason gets up the guts to talk back to Max and tells him he can't do that or tell them to do push-ups. Max begs to differ and Henry finds himself doing pushups till he pukes and sleeping outside that night.While he's outside that night he meets Monica from the music camp a few miles away. Henry thinks she's hot and nice and really cool. But when he asks to use her phone to play a game on it he sees a message from her roommate about how her boyfriend had texted her looking for Monica. She hasn't said anything about a boyfriend so Henry hasn't given up on her yet.The first day there Henry hits a bullseye on the archery field. The next day he isn't so lucky. He and Randy team up to build a shelter outdoors. It falls apart and catches fire leaving Max to wonder where he went wrong. The other team only did marginally better. That night Monica will bring some friends from her camp to the Survival Camp. While Henry doesn't have to sleep outside, he sneaks out to wait for Monica in case she arrives. Monica wants to scare the boys inside their building and they do by screaming a bit in front of the boys' cots. They freak out for a second but then are pleasantly surprised. Until Max arrives with a gun and shoots up the ceiling scaring everyone. Henry tells him to calm down that it's just some girls from the other camp and Max calms down. He tells the boys it's alright if the girls come over but they need to be quiet. But the girls don't come back over and the boys have no luck finding their camp in the dark.Every time Henry has to run, he has a tendency to trip and fall on his face. Not to mention he can't run very far. Then the Survival Games have started. You can get hit three times in the chest or twice in the arm or leg counting as one hit. There are weapons in boxes around the forest as well as other goodies. While they are off playing the game, Max gets a visit from the mafia who is owed money by Max's boss who told them that Max was actually his partner and who had the money. Max explains this to them and that the kids have left for the summer. They kill Max just as Henry is coming back to camp after being the first person to get killed by Erik. Henry manages to get away from them and runs into the woods finding Erik who he tells what is going on, but Erik doesn't believe him at first. But once he does it becomes only a matter of time before the others come back to camp and meet up with the bad guys so they must find a way to protect the others.What follows is a madcap adventure of the campers versus the bad guys in a hilarious adventure fit for the movie it will eventually be turned into. This camp will teach Henry that there are more important things to fear than seahorses and that he could have spent a good deal of time swimming rather than being afraid of the water and that he's tougher than he thought he was. Monica is one tough girl who can seriously kick ass. Randy is pretty tough himself and a good best friend to have. Erik isn't all he's cracked up to be. This book is funny as hell and I give it five out of five stars.QuotesWilderness Survival Tip! Rest forty-five minutes for every hour that you hike. If you’re hiking fast or over rough terrain, increase that number to forty-nine. Hiking isn’t any fun if your legs get tired.-Jeff Strand (I Got a Very Bad Feeling About This p 29)Wilderness Survival Tip! If you need to start a fire, you and burn the pages of this very book. Yes, you’ll hurt the author’s feelings, but that’s okay. Your life is more important. (If you’re reading this as an e-book, setting it on fire is not recommended.)-Jeff Strand (I Got A Bad Feeling About This p 42)You can’t start a fire on purpose, but you can build a shelter that bursts into flames when if falls apart? How is that even possible by any known laws of nature?-Jeff Strand (I Got a Very Bad Feeling About This p 77)Henry if you drown in water that doesn’t even come up to your waist, I will go after your entire family. I mean it.-Jeff Strand (I Have a Very Bad Feeling About This p 103)

My 12 yr old son read this book twice in the first month. Hope to find more age appropriate funny books from this author to keep him reading.

It was like pulling teeth getting him to read this. 8th grade.

There was nothing wrong with the book - I bought it as a Christmas present for a teenage friend. But I saw I was getting two of them - and the second book I hadn't gotten yet said "undeliverable" on it. So I cancelled the order so I wouldn't get it later on.

I Have a Bad Feeling About This... as well you should!Henry Lambert and his best friend, Randy are shipped off to survival camp by their parents for a two week course... intended to make men out of two teens who were decidedly not men. When they arrived, they met three other teens in the same situation.Their camp councellor/instructor is Max, a gung-ho military drill instructor. Dressed in camo clothing with bulging muscles. Although intimidating, he's really not that bad a guy.The boys do push-ups, run, eat meals fit for a king, if said king was a prize hog. The outhouse has something alive in the bottom of the pit that scares little kids. The boys attack their survival lessons with varying degrees of success and enthusiasm. They are all trying to learn what they can so they can compete in the final survival games at the end of the two weeks course.All goes well until a stretch limo arrives with Mr. Grand and his two thugs. It seems that the owner of the camp owes the local mob a lot of money, and the 'boys' are here to collect, already having dealt with the owner. Naturally, Max doesn't have a clue about the owner's problems, which leads to an unfortunate conflict with Mr. Grand.The boys are required to finish their survival course early and make an effort to deal with three gun-toting thugs... or die trying. Aided by a heart throb clarinet player from the nearby music camp, the boys and girl take on the thugs in action reminiscent of the 'Home Alone' films.This is a funny book! It's quite suitable for children 10 and up through adult. There is some blood and mayhem involved. The outhouse comes close to claiming a victim. A crippled bird almost fatally attacks a man and a fake grenade is used to great effect. There's also some inadvertent facial waxing with a frying pan and eyelashes are torn out along with some nose twisting.All in all, this is a really fun book! I enjoyed it immensly. The characters are real and the humor is addicting. In addition, the reader is supplied with some great Survival Tips, which, if followed, will probably cause death or serious bodily harm.Strand has a truly demented sense of humor, it truly shines forth in, I Have a Bad Feeling About This. Buy it. You'll like it.

Henry has a lot of fears. He’s afraid of the Slip ‘n Slide because he might crush his chest. He’d LOVE to go on a roller-coaster, but what if it goes off it’s tracks? Can Survival Camp help Henry overcome his fears?When Henry, and his best friend Randy, are packed off to a survivor camp in the woods, they’re not excited about it. But between nighttime visits with a girl counselor, making new friends, and unexpected danger, it will be a summer he never forgets.I highly recommend this clean, ya comedy/summer camp story. There is some violence, so it’s not for younger kids. Anyone who’s ever been to camp will love it

I just came across this author recently, and I gotta say I'm hooked! This book is totally cute... It's hilarious. It's captivating. It's engrossing, but not as gross as his other stuff. It's like a palate cleanser. Now I gotta get back to the hardcore stuff. Thanks, Strand! You rock!

Seems geared more for younger readers, teens, but it was an entertaining read.

He does it again. Another laugh out loud stupidly idiotic funny book.There is a rumour that Jeff Strand is a background character in the book. I couldn't spot him, maybe he was wearing Camouflage. LolKeep em coming JeffBookEater

typical strand very wacky very stupid but compelling reading read one and you have to read them all out standing author!!!!!!!!