Man Made: In Which a Dad Learns to Be a Man for His Son

Fans of A. J. Jacobs and Matt Mikalatos, rejoice! When journalist Joel Stein (Los Angeles Times, TIME) found out he and his wife were having a boy, he had a massive panic attack. Joe, it turns out, didn't consider himself much of a man. The thought of trying to raise a boy terrified him. So he set out on a quest to become more masculine... whatever that means.I have no idea how women keep score of who is doing best, but I get the feeling it's complicated and involves shoes and delivering compliments that are actually insults. When men graduate from school, we switch from being judged on athletic ability to being judged on how much money we make.Joel earned a Boy Scout merit badge. He spent a weekend with firefighters. He took on home-improvement projects with his ultra-handy father-in-law. He joined the Marines. He fought UFC champ Randy Couture.Joel learns that being a man is a lot harder to define than traditionalists would have us believe. Manhood is more a function of character than roles.Joel would not let his wife come with him to the firestation. For some reason.As Joel's fire chief told him,Not to dismiss your entire premise, but none of the activities or skills you plan on doing define becoming a man. A man is honest, kind, and courageous, protects women, is humble, bold, moral, seeks truth, loves children, and fights for what is right.If you've ever read a Joel Stein column, you know the sort of wit and self-deprecation you're in for in Man Made. And in that regard, the book certainly doesn't disappoint.But it's more than just jokes. Man Made is a trove of manhood-wisdom. Here are five attributes of manhood Joel brought back from his quest. They're not the only five, but they're what really resonated with me:1. Nerdiness is a big part of manliness.At the end of his boy scout campout, Joel observesAll I need to do is take my natural nerdiness and apply it to stuff I'm not interested in. The happiest thing I learned this weekend is that nerdiness is a big part of manliness: learning battle dates, perfecting martial arts moves, memorizing NFL passing percentages, knowing a lot of knots even though the only one you really need is the "shoelace knot."2. Men control their emotions.Controlling your emotions separates children from adults, and all of us from the British... Repression isn't simply civilized; it's the mechanism to express dignity, honor, respect, and self-discipline. It's not that you shouldn't let people know how you feel; it's that you should decide how and when you express it.3. Men appreciate and pursue beauty.Possibly my favorite section of the book.In the midst of his (hilarious) attempts to restore an ancient, dilapidated house with his father-in-law, Joel gains a new appreciation for Ken's manliness:I thought Ken was just clueless, taking on projects without thinking them through. But that's not it. Ken knows this house isn't going to make him any money. He knows he's never going to live here. He's doing this because he sees something ugly that he can turn into something beautiful. It is, structurally, a great old house. That's what Ken sees, not value or practicality. He sees beauty everywhere.4. Men put others first.I thought it was just good leadership, making others feel important. But it's more than that: It's humility. It's not needing to express everything you feel immediately, because you're not the most important person.Initially, Joel couldn't wrap his head around the self-sacrificial ethic embodied by the firefighters and marines he befriended. But he came to understand the value of living for something bigger than yourself.5. Men contribute, they don't complain.Joel learned more than he expected in Boot CampWhile they were discussing Joel's quest, a marine who lost a day of leave to someone else's mistake observed,If you want to be a man, you have to be thankful for what you have.This attitude of contentedness, of working hard and getting a job done, not complaining when things don't go your way, feeds into that same self-sacrificial attitude that had baffled Joel. But the more men he surrounded himself with, the more he saw the value of the code - even one that was largely unspoken.There are ideals far more valuable than personal success. Our culture might celebrate power, money, and fame, but that's not what they talk about at your funeral. Honorable conduct, even unrecognized, is its own reward.Joel, Lazlo and the LamboThis drive to contribute, to make the world a better place in your own small way, resonated with Joel. It resonates with me. While so many in our culture pursue the American Dream, personal fulfillment at any cost, Joel learns that some things - like virtue and character - are more important.Happiness is overrated. Most of the experiences that have made my life better have been hard and unpleasant.What I found fascinating is that none of the qualities of manhood Joel outlines is an explicitly masculine virtue.What we really witness in Man Made is a devastating critique of our culture masked by Joel's self-deprecation and wit. He exposes the adolescence of our selfish, self-possessed life. We're tempted to miss the maturity that lies at the heart of much that is traditionally masculine. It's easier to write it all off as old-fashioned.But we'd do better to learn with Joel and grow up a bit.Bottom Line: Man Made by Joel Stein is a fun, hilarious read that peppers in enough poignant observations on character to be worth your time.

In his book Man Made Joel Stein describes his journey to discover and define masculinity. In order to do this, Stein faces activities that he believes separate men from women. He drinks with friends (more than his usual wine), takes on a shift with his local fire department, goes on a hunting trip, he rebuilds his brother in law's home, and also drives a Lamborghini. He makes it through three days of boot camp with the Army, day-trades with $100,000 and then steps into the ring with UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture. Stein interacts with the former NFL star Warren Sapp, MLB All-Star Shawn Green, with a young Boy Scout named Wiggles. Along the way he uses quite a bit of humor often directed at his own characteristics. When analyzing Stein’s work for a deeper meaning it can be determined that there is no clear cut definition of gender. It is often quite vague and ideas or characteristics used to describe gender can often be applied to both men and women alike. In the third chapter of Man Made, Stein immerses himself in sports. He had batting practice with an MLB All-Star and watched football games with former a NFL linemen. In the chapter Stein makes a realization that seems to be a recurring theme throughout the rest of the book. He wrote “In fact, Shawn [Green] made me think I don't need to change to become the man I want to be. I can still be a total wimp on the inside. I just need to expose myself to a broader world, like shawn did, and like I’m trying to do with these adventures. I need to expand, not change” (Stein 70). Stein begins to see that he should stay true to himself. While having a better understanding of certain experiences will be good for him and help him raise his son, changing himself or putting on a mask would really be less manly. Earlier in the chapter he writes “Our culture celebrates the other half of masculinity, the fiery destructive half, where you brag, threaten, and fight. I want to be on the other side…” (Stein 67). He realizes that he doesn't have to threaten everyone around him to be masculine. This other side of manliness Stein is describing can be seen in the show Parks and Recreation. The character Ron Swanson, a man who spent his afternoons in middle school working in a coal mine and now spends his free time making canoes and escaping from society to the log cabin he built himself. Ron is arguably the most masculine man on the show without the bragging, threatening half Stein talks about. While trying to define masculinity Stein realizes it is represented with very vague ideas and characteristics that apply to both men and women at times. I think Stein is already masculine by wanting to stay true to himself and seeking more experience to be a better role model for his son.

If you like clever writting and people who can see things from a very different perspective... this is a book for you! If you are member of the GOP... don't waste your time! This is way too clever and very liberal for your mind and taste...

Joel Stein (TIME humor columnist) is a man after my own heart: he is not into sports, does not like camping, hunting or fighting, doesn't fancy getting drunk, likes West Side Story and loves to cook and to talk. Sounds perfect to me! Well, OK, he also doesn't know how to fix anything around the house (and doesn't really want to learn it either, since it's boring to him), which is a downside, since fixing things around the house (including electronic gadgets) is one "manly" activity I extremely appreciate in a man – since I sort of draw the line of emancipation right there...When Stein learns that he is having a son, he fears he cannot raise his son adequately, since he has no “manly” qualities and/or interests. Thus, he goes on this “Stupid Quest for Masculinity”, trying out stuff like “Surviving Outdoors” (with a group of Boy Scouts), “Rescuing the Helpless” (with a crew of firefighters) and “Defending my Country” (with the Marines and the Army). Among other things, he also goes (turkey) hunting (without success) and day trading with somebody else's money (with minor success), takes care of a dog for two weeks, and gets in a ring with a UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) champion. Some of these “manly” activities seem typically American manly activities to me – I don't think anyone in Germany would consider going hunting – or shooting a weapon as such – as defining you as a man. Building a house, yes, fixing things, yes, drinking beer (Bavarian beer, please!), yes, being into sports (here: soccer), probably. Going camping? Not so much... At least that's what I – as a German woman – have observed...And I guess German (or European) men would beg to differ here:“My parents did insist that I play a sport, so […] I played soccer, the sport for the least tough kids. I always played defense, which is the position in soccer where they put the least tough of the least tough kids.” (p. 64)I'm usually not very interested in autobiographical books, but “Man Made” is just hilarious! It's a perfect read for this hot summer – I had to laugh out loud on every single page! Joel Stein's style is easy to read and contains a lot of “neologisms”, such as “manventures” or “barfee” (as opposed to the “barfer” - I am going to use this example – preferably accompanied by illustrating pictures – to make my students remember the difference between “employee” and “employer”). He often makes fun of the people who are trying to teach him some manliness, for example when he is out turkey hunting with Matt and Matt tells him he thinks that the deer (and other animals) have given their presence away to the forest: “I wonder if Matt believes the animals sing joyful Disney songs when we're not here.” (p. 187)Has he become manlier at the end of his quest? Find out yourself! One of the funniest books I've read in a very long time!

I just couldn't put it down. He is as funny as always~Keep it up Joel~ I am asking my friends all to read it.

This book is refreshing, funny and objective. It is a perfect book for men or women to read. Very light and entertaining.