White Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better

As a career educator, I have always tried to teach my students that being a lifelong learner is my ultimate goal. If we don't learn, we don't grow. Over the course of my career, I have come to learn, try, unlearn, grow, revise my thinking, and adjust my teaching. I have had strong convictions, then came upon new information that has completely changed my perspective. There have been times when I have knocked it out if the park and other times I have fallen flat on my face. This book blew my mind. It knocked me across the room! I marked up every page with more “aha!” moments than I could imagine. It always surprises me when other white women who have not fully read the book have visceral reactions of anger, hate, and defense to the message. If you could learn even one thing that you might be doing or saying that contributes to racism, oppression, or simply just hurts black and brown people, wouldn’t you want to? If not, why? What are you afraid of? If you could discover some things about yourself that you could change to be more sensitive, kinder, helpful, loving, and just a better human being, why wouldn’t you? Don’t be afraid! It’s ok to hear some constructive criticism. That’s how we grow! There are parts that may make your heart pound and your blood roar with shame, anger, regret, and yes… defensiveness! But, I encourage you to see it through. It’s ok! We can do hard things. Read it cover to cover. I promise you will walk away having a new perspective. If not about everything, definitely about some things. I am grateful to Regina Jackson and Saira Rao for starting this critically important conversation and shining the light on white women. Read this book. If you have a pre-disposed aversion, have the courage to read it anyway. Read it. Even if you think at first you are simply doing it to prove how right you are. Just be brave and read it. We can do this ladies! We can be better!

This book is for people who are actively engaged in their own emotional growth and learning. If you are a naturally defensive person who tends to believe you know better, then I’d say wait until you’re truly eager to learn some uncomfortable truths about the world, and your place in this world.True learning means being able to tolerate discomfort. You cannot make changes when you are too busy kicking and flailing back against things you don’t want to hear about yourself.When we are raised inside a system (any system at all) we are the product of that system. We can choose to distance ourselves from that system, and we might well grow up and decide we don’t believe in the system at all, but the fact remains, our roots were watered, fed and grown, in a specific environment, and therefore, we are the product of that specific environment.In the case of Americans, that environment into which we were born and raised is one that believes that white people constitute a superior race, and therefore deserve to dominate society to the detriment of other racial and ethnic groups. This system is called white supremacy.When you are the “superior race” you don’t actually know or feel that you’re the “superior race.” You are treated how you are treated you’re entire life. I grew up with an older (white) brother. He was treated like a god. He never had to do anything to prove his worth to have value conferred upon him. That’s his lived experience. If I reported to him that my experience in the world, interacting with the exact same people who treat him like a God, did not treat me very well at all, he would probably have a hard time believing that. After all, that’s not ever been his experience. He would also probably be defensive. Why? Well, I’m his sister, and if people who treat him well don’t treat me well, he feels like he might have to do something about that, risking his status in their eyes. He might think that to stand up for me, means to lose his place on top of the pedestal. To make life better for me, it might mean his life won’t be as good. For him, helping me be treated equally in society would feel to him like oppression.This unequal dynamic is the goal of white supremacy.The position my brother finds himself in was not one he earned. It was given to him by dint of being born as a white male in America. This is what is known as white privilege. It’s not that my brother’s life is privileged per se, but that privileged is conferred upon his life because he happened to be born to white people.This book is about the ways in which white women fight to maintain a status quo without understanding why it’s so harmful.If you are truly ready to understand the pain that white people have caused black and brown people, then I say listen to this book or buy this book. It’s wildly important, and not just life-changing, but life-saving.If you find yourself balking at their tone, or their approach, then put the book down, or stop listening and wait until you’ve outgrown that defensive instinct to protect yourself from not hearing things about yourself you’re not ready to hear.Pair this book with its documentary “Deconstructing Karen.”

I don’t think I’ve ever written a book review on Amazon. But this book is so incredibly important I had to leave my recommendation. If you’re a white woman you need to read this. It will feel uncomfortable a lot of the time but if you want to TRULY take a stand in the fight against white supremacy (more than just hashtaging BLM, “listening and learning” and re-sharing anti-racist TikToks) - getting uncomfortable is a necessary part of the process.I learned so much from Regina and Saira and can’t thank them enough for showing me all the ways racism and white supremacy is still showing up in my life despite all the “work” I thought I had already done.Please read this. This is one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read.

so much of what i did not know or understand about racism, and my role in it, has been revealed by listening to and reading this book. i have bought this book for others and will continue to do so. this is not a comfortable read, and why should it be. we white women think everything should be easy. we don't like our feathers ruffled. we want to be the experts and go off on anything that challenges our position. but most of all, we have incredible power and it's time to use this power for good. racism is alive and well. each moment spent in denial and disinterest is a vote for racism to root even deeper. anti-racist education, comprehension and action is the only way out, and we white women need to lead the way. instead of fearing or avoiding your own racism, own it, learn how to do better and take action. let this book be your first step.

Being a white woman in the UK, it's been easy to dissociate with what I thought 'racism' was over in the US - what did that have to do with me? However, a self-led history lesson (prompted by reading various other authors such as Resmaa Menakem, exploration of personal ancestry and watching documentaries such as Enslaved with Samuel L Jackson) has shown how Brits involvement four hundred years ago were instrumental in laying down the roots of what I now understand as being structural racism and white supremacy. I am a white woman, ergo I have unearned white privilege, and have really been clueless about how entitled and racist I have been and still am. Enter this book from Regina and Saira, I can hear them speak the words they have written on the pages, they hit home and resonate at a deep level. I am eternally grateful they have spoken out and look forward to sharing this incredible resource with other white women intent on dismantling the 400 years worth of destruction and violence. I now see structural racism has everything to do with me and every, and I mean EVERY white person living here on this planet today. Here's to unravelling and unlearning a life-time of destructive conditioning that does not serve anyone.

This is the best book on racism that I have read yet. It brilliantly articulated (racial)violence - how it manifests, mutates, exploits our insecurities, and harms us all - melanin-rich and melanin-deficient individuals. What the authors describe is so enlightening and so true. I have always had a problem with the terms “micro” aggressions and white “fragility” - both terms were coined by white (melanin-deficient) individuals. Thank you Regina and Saira for your hard work and for trying to enlighten us all. Even though the book is aimed at white women there’s a lot of white moves described in it that very much apply to white men as well, particularly in the workplace. I would recommend to the mothers in my kids’ school but I think that would be too risky, sadly. For any other white woman who wants to liberate and heal herself from white trauma - that you didn’t know you had - then this is the book for you. Lean in and invest in yourself, your kids’ future and humanity’s future. Remember that the system of white supremacy was created long before you came into this world. It chose you, you didn’t choose it. However, now you can free yourself of it and you can do something to dismantle it. The ball is in your court.

Read this. Squirm a bit. Squirm *a lot*. Indulge in some self pity. And anger. Realise some stuff. Feel a bit liberated. Feel *really* liberated. Finish the book. Start the journey.(I bloody loved this book. Did I say you should read it yet? Oh & on toxic positivity- see pics)

Regina and Saira have written a phenomenal book here ! It is such an eye widening and truth baring book , with undeniable truthful , authentic and lived experiences; written in such an accessible way! If you only buy one book in 2022 , white women, it’s imperative you make it this one!!! Read, digest, and make changes!

I have already lent my copy out and bought for family.This book is everything you didn’t know you need to know. How to move forward through your fear of doing something in case you get it wrong. To understand that it’s time to uphold those beliefs you say you have but never actually act on. It’s on us white women to dismantle how we approach racism and the truths and tools in this book will guide you. To quote an often used buy apt phrase “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and so we begin.