The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men

This book helped me understand my sons and husband better and grow in love and appreciation for them.There are a few points that I thought debatable. But the author himself doesn’t claim to have all the right answers.

Bought for a friend

"The Wonder of Boys" book builds on Gurian's research into brain chemistry and biology, specifically addressing some of the "wiring" that goes into making people's brains male or female. Addressing the criticism that working specifically with "boy traits" leads to pigeonholing, Gurian points out that the book describes tendencies among boys and girls, not absolutes. My first exposure to Gurian's theories was in the book "The Minds of Boys"... well worth reading.The overwhelming thrust of this book is the need for boys to have a reference group around them - older men, dad's friends or colleagues, men in the neighborhood with little boys, men with older sons, older boys to take an interest in the little guy. Note that not all these guys will be on exactly the same page, but they all have plenty to offer to boys and young men in terms of instruction in ...well... manliness. Courage and self-control, respectfulness and spirituality, love and nurturing, war and politics.While *all* boys need this sort of reference group, and the cover features three adorable middle-class kids, Gurian emphasizes the desperate need for poor, inner city, or fatherless kids to be around men. He gives all kinds of credit to single moms, but offers plenty of caution there, too. In his opinion, marriage is a profound social contract dedicated to the raising of children and needs support from society.By about page 115, I realized once again what a great dad my husband is. My kids and I are really blessed.Two strong takeaways from this book. 1) Make a boy's responsibilities part of his MISSION. For example, his chores are part of his mission to make the family home more comfortable. 2) Gurian introduces a hierarchy of moral development and suggests using a "plus-one" system of discipline - analyze how your child's behavior is progressing, and then let the discipline be a stretch up to the next level. You can read about it on p. 198.There are not a lot of a-ha moments in this book, but it's a worthwhile read and a mind-opener. What COULD we do to support boy (and all kids) better?

Well written common sense values and beliefs that are well documented and founded in biology, psychology and anthropology. This is not some politically correct piece of trash by some childless, pseudo intellectual academic. Instead, the author is a well respected professional and father who's personal experiences and research come together to provide logical, down to earth advice and methodology for raising boys. I have experienced much of what he claims "how it used to be" when I was growing up in the 50's and 60's and matured happy and well adjusted. I'm volunteering my spare time helping some young boys to find themselves and their strengths, and bought the book for some insight into present day thinking. It's an eye opener to say the least. Thanks to Mr. Gurian for an excellent piece of work from one of the tribe :)

Great book, for anybody that has to bring up boys. Good reading for Moms as well as Dads

It helps me understand my 3 years old son alot better. As a first time mom, I found it's really hard to understand a boy's mind. It's not easy cause we are so different and I want to be able to understand him and help him gets through the day without fuss or tears. I love all the suggestion and I recently bought my son a "How things work" book. It works like miracle. He would ask me to read and explain to him everyday how things work. It is so funny. I love it. It works like charm. Thank you!

More recent brain research shows that while the differences outlined here ar real, they are also highly variable across individuals and most of us have some markers of a a "male" brain and some of a "female" one. Presented with simple images of brain scans, even neuroscientists are unable to consistently correctly identify the sex of the person it belongs to. That's not to say that differences don't exist--of course they do--but they are not as cut and dry as this book suggests. But my real disappointment in this book is that I was looking for something substantial on raising boys as distinct from girls that wasn't religious in its tone or philosophy. Anyone who has queried titles on raising boys has no doubt noticed that there are a multitude of overtly religious books on the topic while secular ones seem few and very far between. I chose this because it wasn't overtly religious in title or description, but found that while the author claims his suggestions are universally applicable they are in fact deeply dependent on the assumption that the parent raising a boy is actively engaged with religion of one kind or another and committed to raising said boy within that spiritual framework. I think the author genuinely attempted and even believed that his proposals for what boys need are universally applicable, but as an atheistic secular humanist I found many aspects of his ideas to be derived from Judeo-Christian traditions and to assume involvement in some sort of church or church-like community, which I found both off-putting and not applicable for my family.

As the mother of three boys I've read a lot of books to gain a better insight into their minds and hearts. This is by far the best book I've read on the subject. I understand some feminist types are offended by the notion that a father is an important (if not the most important figure) in a boy's life and cannot be replaced by the mother and they have attacked this author. To them I say, Get a life.I highly recommend this book for anyone who is not a wild-eyed, angry feminist.

As an educator, this book helped me better think about how to set up my classroom and my teaching to better help my young boys. A very good read and one that more educators and parents should look at and think on.

A real insight into how boys think and behave.