The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse: 1 (The Narcissism Series) Paperback – 6 Dec. 2017

Reading this book has been life changing for me. I have read so many other books about narcissism and watched lots of YouTube videos but most of the information out there is on overt narcissism which adds on a layer of doubt and contributes to the cognitive dissonance. Because covert narcissistic abuse is so stealthy, the abuse can go on for decades without us being any the wiser. This book contains a treasure trove of information on not just how to know you are in a covert narcissistic relationship but also information on how to heal and reconnect with yourself which is so very important. Many times the realisation that one is in a covert narcissistic relationship can bring a sense of sadness, loss and grief and we switch between rumination, regret and hopelessness. Debbie reminds us of our inner strength and resilience and for that I am very grateful. Please buy this book if you have even a tiny inkling that you may be in a relationship with a CN. It will be your lifeboat as you navigate the rapids towards your exit!

This book is a total game changer. Wish I’d read it years ago. Overwhelmingly tough read though. It’s like it’s written about my life with him, the stages, the scenarios, the conversations, all of it. Sometimes I could only read a paragraph at a time and had to stop to process it. Everything I couldn’t put my finger on for years and years became crystal clear. And still weeks later memories pop into my head from years ago that I had long forgotten about, they all slot into place with the behaviours the book lays bare. Reading that I was groomed was one of the tougher parts. His discard phase was nothing short of abhorrently nasty and bitter. Thankfully our cycle was 20 years, not more, and I’m on my way back. I have survived, and I will thrive. No matter how hard he is still trying to crush me, disparage me, cause chaos daily and tries to shame me. I know who I am and what he’s done and tries to continue doing. As do others now. The illusion is broken and I am going to be free. The best £10 I have ever spent

Really enjoyed this book. Compassionately written and unraveled a lot of cognitive dissonance in my head; helped me to heal. Thank you.

Life changing, brilliantly written, very informative.

I have had no choice but to understand what this disgusting mental illness is as I was born into it.My Father is a cerebral/ extrovert narcissist. He divorced my empathetic mother and is remarried to a covert narcissist. His sister my aunt is a passive aggressive covert narcissist. I have also worked for a spiritual narcissist for 20 years and experienced other full scale classic narcissists by way of my mothers subsequent partners after her divorce.I have been lied to betrayed and abused my whole life and then as an adult suffered a full scale targeted attack nearly losing my wife and my sanity. I am still dealing with the aftermath but am in specialist therapy and have some validation from the people I love who were manipulated against me. Some of the things I have done however (narcissistic fleas) are not easy to forgive.With regards to this book it's bang on. All true. The chapter on divorce basically describes my parents divorce . coincidentally the sudernane the author chose was the same as my mothers.I like the way the author has interviewed many people effected. People have different experiences in someways and the author understands that but shows it's important not to dismiss the evidence and reason it as something else. The sex chapter is interesting to say the least. I'm sure if my mother was still alive she would confirm this.Narcissists wear a mask. As they are in hiding they thus have no accountability, remorse, guilt, regret , shame. They lie , manipulate triangulate, gaslight and destroy happiness where ever they can. However they can. While pretending to be something else. All they want from you is you on your knees begging them to help you.They need you however for supply. As they're true self is buried they have to worship the ego the mask they hide behide. They need peoples attention in the form of pain and distress preferably to validate they're pathetic existence. You are just an object to them. There is no meaningful emotional connection with a narcissist as they have little to no empathy nor the capacity to love or be loved.This book does a great job of describing the covert passive aggressive narcissist in my opinion.At the age of 41 only now have all the pieces of my passed fallen into place and the why I was missing all these years become clear to me. I am no longer a victim I am a survivor . I am No contact. Been informed and aware is half the battle this book can help with that. I wish you well if you got to the end of reading this I know why. Good luck 👍

Excellent

Firstly, the chapters shown on audible playing, do not correspond to the actual chapters you hear, which means for me that the audiobook was not quality checked. For example, you see title chapter 17 when you listen to chapter 13. Also, the chapters are listed with numbers, e.g. chapter 1, chapter 2 etc, without the actual title of each chapter, so if you want to go back to a specific chapter, you don't know which chapter was it...Secondly, this book is more counseling, like someone is comforting you all the time with emotional words. Maybe it is helpful for people who were seriously abused by CNs. This is not my case, I only wanted to learn how to spot manipulators and narcissists. I learned something, but I found the book really repetitive and a bit tiring with the counseling style.The author also suggests masturbation to recover from a CN. Hmmm... Who feels like masturbating after being played, belittled, hurt etc. I would not.Also, today I see the price at about 17£. Very overpriced. I purchased it cheaper but if I had given 17£...it would be a waste of money.