Mate: Become the Man Women Want

Mate lays a foundation that many men can benefit from. Much of it comes as common sense, but nevertheless I believe there's a little something for everyone with this book. I can't say I agree with all of it: the term "mansplaining" is rubbish, and the softening of language / concepts throughout to appease feminist readers is unfortunate; the chapter on financial proof severely understates the importance of finances to women out of an interest in not perpetuating the "gold digger" stereotype (a $50k/yr. wage is entry-level and underwhelming at best to most woman) and sets most men up for disappointment; paleo is presented as the only viable diet option and cardio is thrown to the wolves (lots of women enjoy running, hiking, cycling, and above all else, long walks!); the chapter on aesthetic proof suggests men should dress like Mr. Rogers.However, putting all that aside, you're left with a 400-page instruction manual to follow that will undoubtedly make you a more attractive mate. I found the "step one" content (build confidence, understand what it's like to be a woman, clarify mating goals) to be insightful in many ways, and the various proofs are laid out in a way that make applying them to your own life very doable, despite appearing as an overwhelming laundry list of demands at first glance. The mating markets chapter was useful in helping me to realize that my (overwhelmingly elderly, secular, left-leaning, obese) state is a ghost town in terms of viable dating prospects, and that the Midwest is ripe with opportunity in comparison.With all that being said, I do believe Mate fails to address one key aspect of dating as a young man today, and that's the fact that there are so few viable partners out there for those men who put in the work and are seeking a long-term relationship (which is to say, most of those who read this book). This comes as ironic, given the book places greater emphasis and value in seeking a long-term partner than casual hookups, and even disavows pick-up artists. You'd think there'd be some kind of disclaimer about the dating market being so awful today, or more than a passing mention about divorce, but there is none to be found (more of that "softening ... to appease feminist readers" I mentioned earlier).So, being left with the option to follow the 400-page instruction manual and grind away at always being your best self, ever hopeful that you'll meet someone who will bring her own value to the table (more than just sex) and stick around in the long-term, you have to wonder... is it really worth it? While Tucker and Geoffrey have tied the knot since this book was published, you can't help but wonder if their marriages will last, given all those men who embodied this book's advice to a T and suffered terrible divorces, Steven Crowder being the latest casualty as of this review.

There are tons of dating books out there, and there are tons with really horrible advice. A year ago I was introduced to one of the manosphere's dating books "The Rational Male", and it was jaw-droppingly bad (see my Goodreads review if you want to know more). So, seeing a book with a title like this and one of it's co-authors Tucker Max being infamous for the book "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", how could I possibly give a book like this 4 stars?Well, don't judge a book by it's cover, nor it's author's name.Right off the bat, the book clarifies what the book is and what it isn't. It's NOT a dating book giving random quick-fix advice. It's NOT a dating book that randomly speculates what women want. Both authors reject the manosphere and pick-up artist books of today. Instead, the aim for this book was to be science-based.Combine the frat boy communication style of Tucker Max with the evolutionary psychology studies of Geoffrey Miller and you got this book. And if there was any maxim for this book, it could easily be: "𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘩*𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦!"What I really appreciated about the book is that while the authors offer charisma techniques here and there, it's always surrounded by practical advice and a core emphasis on developing one's character. Unlike books in the manosphere which encourage degrading women to compensate for feelings of inferiority, this book tells men to take responsibility for their inferiority and improve themselves. Unlike books which point to women as being the problem, this book tells men we are the ones creating the problem when we expect women to magically like us while at the same time being lazy, incompetent, unsanitary buffoons!One big takeaway from the book is the author's emphasis on becoming a Tender Defender: a man who can play competitively and fiercely on the sports field while at the same time be the softest and most nurturing husband off the field. It's all goes back to the idea of becoming a balanced, well-rounded man.While I can't say every piece of advice I agreed with or it sounded more like personal opinion than data-driven (e.g. they really push the No Sugar No Grains diet), I learned enough in the book that I'd definitely recommend others check it out too!

This book is way under-rated! I'm a 28 year old male who's sadly spent most of his life single, I've scoured through all the "pick-up" material there is out there, but nothing resonated with me as much as this book. It's all about improving yourself as a man, a lot of it is common sense, but the way Tucker wrote the book spoke to me in a way that made so much sense and actually inspired me to take action in improving my situation. It also gave me a much better understanding of the world from a woman's perspective. After everything Tucker has been through, and the fact he's teamed up with a PhD scientist, £12.00 for this is a bloody steal! Honestly, some of the life-coaching and PUA products out there for £300-£500 don't offer as much value as what's in this book.

This book is the real deal. None of that spiritual and narcissistic bull that most other books are filled with. Practical & real advice that every guy must follow to achieve a better life over all. Yes, the name of the book is geared towards dating and relationships, but this book really is like an official manual to life for men. If you are coming in here expecting to read the beat pick up lines and what to say to a girl to get her number, you are already lost. This book deals with how to become a better man and achieve things greater than most people think is possible. And hopefully you'll be able to answer the all-elusive question - what does women want.Do yourself a favor, get this book Mate and No More Mr Nice Guy and pass these down your kids as a family tradition.

I can say that I dont have a particularly good impression of Tucker Max. But Geoffrey Miller definitely knows what he is talking about. This book is just amazing, as it is not about some ridiculous scams. Its about improving yourself to be able to build the relationships you want. If its a long term relationship or short term hookups. I wish I had known the stuff before, as I had to face the truth about why my past relationships started crumbling even though everything was great on the surface. You can reflect on your behavior as much as you want - you cant come up with all the things stated in this book and thats why it was so beneficial for me. Best book out there - with scientific evidence.

As a 19 year old guy who for the last 3 years has been struggling to find any credible dating/relationship advice - from anyone - I can't recommend this book enough.Why?Mate's foundation is in scientific based research; the information is solid and reliable - Dr. Geoffrey Miller (an evolutionary psychologist teaching at the University of New Mexico) has his academic reputation tied to the book. This mean that, unlike many other dating "advice" books, the authors actually have an interest in providing the truth.The advice given by Mate is also extremely practical, you can distil the information given into points from which you can take action on. You could argue this side of the book comes from presence of Tucker Max - the man who had to painfully self-teach himself the lessons of Dr. Miller's research for more than a decade.This book isn't for everyone - and the authors know it. Many guys live in a fantasy and either don't believe they need to work on themselves (which, if we want to live worthwhile lives seems absolutely necessary - to me, at least) or will try and take an easy route - listening to the trash spewed out by the Pick Up industry. If you're not one of these guys (which means you're in the minority), and believe in self-improvement through hard work and graft, this book is certainly for you.

This book I will say it's not about getting women but about becoming the man that every woman wants.It's completely self development.No dating stuff works, but only reality makes difference,and that is all this book is about