Memoirs Aren't Fairytales: A Story of Addiction

Fierce. Raw. Compelling. These are the words I'd use to describe Marni Mann's gut-wrenching debut novel, Memoirs Aren't Fairytales. Written with the conciseness and urgency of a surgeon cutting into the left ventricle, Ms. Mann cuts through all the clichés and false glorification of the typical addiction/recovery story, and shows us just how truly debilitating this illness can be. But she doesn't do it all at once. Like the proverbial frog cooking in a pot of boiling water, Marni starts us off slowly and deliberately, with small, barely-noticeable spikes in the heat. In the first chapter, we are introduced to Nicole, a fairly innocent, albeit emotionally-scarred, twenty-something college drop-out, intent on numbing herself with benign amounts of liquor and weed. But after moving to Boston with her plutonic, brother-like boyfriend, Eric, Nicole begins to experiment with other "mood enhancers" like shrooms and speed. She soon spends all her money on eight-balls and liquor, only to find herself broke and in desperate need of something potent and cheap. That's when she discovers heroin. A tenth the cost and a hundred times more powerful, it is exactly what Nicole needs to erase her past.With gripping precision and hauntingly accurate detail, Ms. Mann describes Nicole's first descent: "The taste was an odd mix, sweet like kid vitamins and bitter like vinegar, and it burned my lungs. I felt it, slowly, at the tip of each limb and then a rush up to my head. The rush wasn't anything like coke. This, well, this was euphoric--tingles and sparks and melting--like I was being swallowed by a cloud of cotton and the sun was wrapping its rays around me like a blanket. I could feel my chin falling towards my chest, my back hunching forward."Of course, as we all know, this feeling doesn't last. No matter how hard you try, nothing can ever replicate the euphoria of that first hit. Eventually, you wind up empty and soulless, devoid of all human emotion, a mechanism operating on one thing and one thing only; the hunger for the next taste that will make you somewhat whole again.Nicole experiences this exact same soullessness, while getting rammed in the ass behind the alley by some fat, sweaty biker dude: "Now, heroin controlled my body. And since it had been violated, did it really have any value to me anymore? No. I could whore out all I wanted. I could screw ten guys for a hundred bucks. As long as dope was inside me, I didn't care if a man was too."Unfortunately, this type of dejection is right on the money. I should know. As a hopelessly depraved addict myself (now with 4 years sobriety, but only by the grace of God), I can say, without hesitation, that Marni nails the depravity, down to its gritty core.The pain is real. The hopelessness is real. The only thing unreal is Marni's ability in getting the details of it so damn accurate. How did she do it? I wondered, as I devoured page after page of frighteningly familiar debauchery. Was Marni an addict? Did she experience the same hell her junkie protagonist, Nicole, had experienced? I decided to do a little research. To my surprise, I found out that Ms. Mann wasn't an addict herself, (although she had known many in her life, including one very close who had overdosed.) But then how was she able to write the highs so well if she had never actually injected? The simple answer: research. Not only is Ms. Mann a gifted writer, she is a fierce investigative journalist.As she explains in the FAQ section of her website ([...]), "the biggest source of information came directly from the addicts themselves. In fact, most of the addicts I interviewed were high. They were dumping the heroin onto a spoon, liquefying the powder, and shooting it into their veins while I was in their presence. Within a few seconds of pulling the needle out--because that's how long it takes to get high--my questions began. How did they feel? What did they see? What was running through their head?"Wow. Now, that's what I call being a dedicated writer. She didn't watch some video on Youtube or pop in Trainspotting. Nope. She went right to the source; the junkies themselves. No wonder this novel is so gripping. It feels like you are right there with Nicole in that roach-infested Boston motel room shooting dope into your arm. It makes me so happy to read something so brutal and compelling, especially since it's in the same genre I love to write myself. What Marni has done is truly an inspiration. It makes me eager to start working on my next book. Well done, Ms. Mann.This book is definitely a must read for all addicts in any stages of their addiction and/or recovery. But I don't think you have to be an addict to appreciate this story. It is written so well and with such precision, that even if you can't relate directly to Nicole's struggle, you feel vested enough in her character to keep the pages turning. And you wanna know what the best part is? Oh hell yeah...there's a sequel!Andrew Seaward, author of Some Are Sicker Than Others[...]

Up-and-coming indie author Marni Mann has crafted a gritty, compelling tale in MEMOIRS AREN'T FAIRYTALES, the fictional account of a young girl's descent into heroin addiction. It's a graphic and haunting story, as much a confession as a cautionary tale, and one that defies any genre label I can think of, aside from "literary fiction" - and in the most exalted, award-worthy sense of the term.Nicole Brown begins as a college drop-out who flees hometown life in Bangor with her best friend Eric, for a big city experience in Boston. As her hand-to-mouth struggle of a new life unfurls, Nicole finds herself moving from seemingly simple weed and pills to the complexity of cocaine, before falling headlong into a full-blown heroin habit. None of this is recreational, however; Nicole suffered a brutal attack back home, the details of which she can't remember, and seeks chemical refuge from the residual pain...sometimes with tragic results. Along the way she encounters a cast of unsavory characters who mostly serve to drag her further down the rabbit hole. The maternal Claire appears amid the madness and offers a genuinely caring counterpoint to it all, but by then Nicole is in too deep for easy redemption. Readers having any familiarity with addiction will easily recognize the profile; readers new to the details of such a thing would be wise to take note. The author has done some painstaking research to create a realistic story, and uses it all to stirring effect.As difficult as it was to recognize while I read, this is Marni Mann's debut novel. She is truly a talent to be reckoned with. Her spare, clean style gives Nicole a direct voice, frank and unsentimental in her heartbreaking, no-holds-barred telling of all that happens as her addiction progresses. The details are sometimes overwhelming; with such rich, unflinching descriptions, the reader experiences the descent as an insider, eavesdropping in the mind of a junkie every step of the way. It is entirely a credit to Mann's beautiful skill as a writer and confidence as a storyteller that, despite the difficult subject matter, the reader is compelled with every word to push on. A must read.

Such a great book had me up all night to finish reading it. Definitely recommend reading won’t be disappointed xo

By far the best memoir I have ever read! Touched my heart and soul and I will never forget it! So, well written that I could not put it down. I finished the book in one sitting. I am also a recovering addict and I have to say that if I were to ever write a memoir of my life as an addict, I would want it to be like this, because reading this memoir has opened my eyes and has left me thinking about her life and that's what I would want from my story. To have my readers remember the story long after they have put my book on the shelf! I know I will always carry her story with me for the simple reason being I was there once myself! Great memoir and two thumbs up! DEFINITIVE READ!

I brought this book believing it was an autobiography. I'm actually glad I read it thinking this as it made the book more shocking. The authors knowledge of life as an addict is totally believable, hence why I thought it an autobiography. She has clearly done her research!!Brilliant, gritty story which totally sucks the reader in. I was addicted. The main character was well established and because of the way it's written the reader almost feels as if they know her.The reader feels so many emotions reading the book. At times I felt like I was on a rollercoaster! I'm so excited knowing there is a second part in the pipeline. Definitely recommend this book

How does a person become an addict? How does your child become an addict? This book shows the slippery path to addiction. Although it is fiction it has a ring of truth to it. I loved this book

this book was sad and it really did pull heart strings. Ireally feel for these people and Ithink by reading this book it will portray a different image of them as before hand I seen people with addictions as a lower class, now i respect them and look up to them for the life journey they've led. I think we have a lot to learn from this.