The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" Paperback – December 27, 2007

You may think to yourself, these questions are simple? But they are so important to discuss before marriage. Buy yourself, or an engaged couple you love, this book!

I wish I had found this book when I was much younger. I wasn't really capable of being honest with myself long with not being old enough and mature enough to know what I wanted. This book brings up as it says, the "HARD" questions. Things you may incorrectly assume about what will happen in your marriage. I would also recommend waiting until you both are past the "lovestruck" phase before reading it together. That is, if you aren't aware, the phase where your partner does something that usually would annoy you but you find "cute". The cuteness doesn't always last and can be replaced by a resentment. I like to give a copy to all the folks I care about that are getting married and want to stay married. So read this book and listen to your mom if you are lucky enough to have one. She's literally known you 9 months longer than anyone and can see things we are blind about.

My husband and I read this book when we were dating. We've been married for seven years. Now we gift it to anyone thinking about getting married. It poses trivial questions about daily life that you probably would not think of on your own. Sometimes the same questions are worded differently. This can be annoying or get you to approach the same subject from a different prospective. For some of my friends, this book allows one partner to discuss a sensitive area (spending habits, family) without the other person feeling attacked.We went through the questions during road trips as a way to pass time. Not only did we get to know each other better, it was a confrontational way to discuss issues for which we had strong feelings. Plus, when the eldest of four marries an only child, holiday spending and family priorities are important topics. Eventually we would have gotten to most of these topics on our own, but it helped create a stronger foundation for our marriage.One commenter wrote that this book doesn't ask philosophical questions. That's true. Hopefully, those types of things are discussed while you're enjoying a meal. This book will ask if it is okay to lend money to family or where to spend holidays. Topics that are better discussed before marriage than argued after the nuptials.

This book does have some good questions. My personal concern is the author is not a professional counselor.

My now husband and I completed this book while engaged. He tends to be a peacemaker and won’t dive into “hard” conversations to avoid possible conflict. These questions prompted us to have open dialogue without it coming from the other person but an outside source. It really encouraged us to dive deep especially before the wedding. I would recommend this to any couple needing to navigate deeper conversations

My best friend's wife is a non-religious couples therapist, and she has her clients go through this book together. I got this a Valentine's gift for my boyfriend and I to work through, as we were getting pretty serious and started thinking about getting married. This was the best thing that every happened to me, relationship-wise. As we started to read through the book, we both realized how much we didn't know about each other and how much we vastly differed on our responses to the questions presented in this book. Ultimately, we couldn't get through the chapter on money, and our lack of compromise led to our break-up. I don't think this book is meant to make you end your relationship with someone, but it does make you think. It helped me get a frame of reference about building these thoughts in a the start of relationship and working through them slowly. I would say I'm in a much healthier relationship now and this book helped me create a better foundation at how I should be approaching a relationship and communicating with my partner.

I love this book! I have given it to at least 6 couples before their marriages (and they all still got married)... None of these questions were even thought about before I married, and the answers can be so important to the peace and happy-ness of couples and their future together. So many of the questions might be answered by 'hmmm...I never thought about that'. Why not ask them before the wedding, instead of being caught by surprise after...when one might be assuming the outcome, or thinking it would be like their parents' choices? I might not have married my husband had I read this book and discussed it with him before the wedding :-) But then, I would've missed out on 4 wonderful kids, who are now adults! Yes, I love this book...everything we know is something we know. Why leave something so life-changing as a lifelong partnership to chance? Makes for lots of thinking, sharing, and getting to know one another and one's own self better! How could that not be a good thing? Thanks for asking :-) Peace to you~Jaynie Allee

The book was advertised as "new" but it clearly is used. It's not in bad condition but there is some minor marking inside and the cover is scuffed. The book was very inexpensive so the price was fair for a used paperback, but it should not have been listed as "new".