Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise Paperback – September 1, 1990

I just finished reading a 130 page book written by Jane Middelton-Moz titled "Shame & Guilt - Masters of Disguise", this book opened up my mind and heart to consider the possibilities of why some people cannot follow through with their words. I found myself relieved after finishing this book because for once someone finally put into words what goes on in reality in our inner worlds in practical, concise and work-able terms. I highly recommend this book to every one so you may discover the signs of how we sometimes decide to not face, feel or free shame and guilt. If we do not grasp the masters of disguise that influence us to behave on the surface to fulfill other agendas; our lives will continue to unconsciously spin out of control and we will not know where or why we were lead astray.What personally struck me was remembering how I suffered for a long time extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others. There was a time in my life that it was most desirable for my circle of influence for me to stand by with a smile on my face and say nothing. There was a time in my life that I was isolated for articulating how disconnected my perception was from the larger crowd. This isolation served as means for others to punish me with shame and guilt or hide from their own shame and guilt.

A very useful read for both therapists and therapy patients. It reflects a solid understanding of underlying theory but it is written in a way that is very reader friendly. The repeated use of classic fairy tale characters was very effective in explaining how dynamics of shame and guilt play out in our relationships and in our view of ourselves and of others. I did not particularly care for the use of lists in the book, as they can oversimplify complex ideas, but I know many people like them.

This book offers an overview of shame and guilt, how intertwined they are, yet their clear distinctions. I was particularly captivated by the use of story-telling to illustrate the pervasive nature of shame and how it gets passed on trans generationally.I would have liked to read more about strategies for overcoming debilitating shame and guilt.However, this suffices as an introduction to the nature of shame and guilt and how it shows up relationally

I liked everything about this book. It’s an easy read and has helped me to gain insight into my journey after a life changing event. I see how my childhood had a much bigger effect on me than I ever thought. Thank You

I'm still reading this book, and I'll probably have to read it a few more times, but this has my life written in this book! You may not even realize that you were shamed or guilt ridden, because I didn't look at my youth like that. My parents still think this is the correct way to teach children, and they've even wanted me to raise my children under these incorrect ways. I've refused to raise my children like I was raised, and it actually makes my parents really angry with me. My counselor recommended this book to me, and I am so glad that I'm reading it! It is sure changing the way I feel about myself as a human being. I am learning that I don't have to be or do everything perfectly to be accepted into society. That issue all by itself has made continued to haunt and stress me out. I highly recommend this book if you have any of the issues listed above regarding how this book can help yourself, your siblings, or your friends. It will open a whole new world for anyone who, like me, doesn't feel like they fit in, have self esteem issues from childhood, or isolate themselves from the outside world. I'm not claiming it will be an immediate quick fix, but with patience and following through will make it so worth it!

The author does a decent job of separating Guilt from Shame and defining "Normal" Guilt and "Debilitating" Guilt. It has not been long since Shame was considered an important feeling term. Shame especially is at the core of all codependency Belief Systems and the author does well to say this. She gives good examples of adult statements to reinforce the information. I highly recommend this book and asking my sponsoree to purchase this book also.

Pros: easy read. This book can be done in two quick sittings.Guild and shame are in a cycle of generations. I thought I could figure out one family member with this, but ended up also defying myself. Talk about a "aha!" moment.There are some glossery terms and paragraph definitions that can explain why adults shamed as children are they way they are.Cons: lots and lots of "fabels" or "story examples" which I found super confusing. I rather the action say "x" and the result say "y" so "xyz" can be drawn in a straight line.I think I'd take maybe a few examples and buy a different book. It was helpful but also more questions than actually answered.

There are a vast number of books on shame currently and their number increases daily. Shame is the new problem for human beings; where before there was other evaluations. However, this book is clear, easy to read and does a marvelous example of illuminating this debilitating problem. It is short, to the point, and invaluable.