What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Paperback – October 1, 1999

The book made me laugh and cry. It made me think back to the difficulties I had socializing as a child and made me wish someone had told me these things. Most of my family has AD/HD so there wasn't anyone to tell me what I was doing wrong socially. They all acted a lot like me. I have had to learn things the hard way as an adult.I bought this book because I get so anxious over social situations and my phone isn't ringing off the hook with invites from friends to hang out. It brought some habits to my attention that I didn't know were being read wrong. For example, I have a habit of just walking away when I am done taking. No, "I have to get back to work." or "I'm feeling hungry and I'm going to get some food." I'd just walk away. I was discussing this book with a non-AD/HD friend today and she said that she feels unimportant when I do that and it bugs her.This book has created some great discussions between my spouse and me and my friends and me. We have had some laughs over actions they didn't know I didn't realize not to do and they were just too polite to correct me. A laugh and the phrase, "You do that all the time and it irritates me.", happened frequently. I also learned that my friends and spouse thought that my AD/HD medication would fix all of that. They didn't know it is just a tool.The big "aha moment" for me was realizing that just because you are listening to a person doesn't mean they know you are listening. There are certain verbal and nonverbal things you need to do to let that person know you are paying attention.I practiced on my husband this weekend. I even caught myself doing a "blink" when I used one of the techniques and found I had missed part of the conversation. This book built up my confidence and I went out and did very well at a 4th of July bbq. No uncomfortable looks or people trying to avoid me. I still need to work on eye contact, but I am getting better.This book has made me feel empowered. I told an ADHD friend of mine about this book and she is anxious to read it.

This has a lot of good points. It can be a bit overwhelming. What I have done is read a little bit then spend a week concentrating on one specific idea.

I am a 50 year old inattentive type ADD'er. I consider myself high functioning, I am voracious reader and try to read all I can about ADD. This book filled a big hole left by other ADD books. I've learned a lot of tricks on organizing, scheduling, not forgetting things etc. but I still always felt I was struggling a bit. I now see how I have behaviors that affect my relationships with friends and family. The relationships were still OK but I realize I annoying and off-putting I have unknowingly been! This is also a great book for dealing with employment issues. I was well regarded in my work places, my work was well reviewed but I felt I didn't get included on as many projects or get promoted. Again, I just had certain quirks that undermined my work relationships. I am reading and re-reading parts of the book to reinforce the concepts and asking my husband to point out when I unconciously lapse into annoying ADD behaviors. I wish I could have read this book at 20. There were so many things I did without knowing and don't want to do, knowing the effect on others.

For decades I had been jokingly saying "It's like I missed a memo in life that everyone else got". For me this book was somewhat of a revelation. I have had difficulty articulating exactly what the author describes so well. Even though there isn't a heck of a lot of tools to use out of this, it's greatest effect will come from simple awareness of the issue. Like dropping a bad habit, you have to catch yourself doing it and learn from it. Up until now I had genuinely felt that my quirks were just part of my personality, and that nothing could be done. But there's hope, and a better understanding for adults with ADHD who have difficulty.What I liked most about the book, is that it takes into consideration most of us ADHD folks are visual learners. Reading a text book is impossible, but applying some of the tools as examples in stories made it hit home much better for me.Great read, very helpful, and made me feel not as alone and helpless.

I did not finish the book, as it was disappointing. Maybe it improves later, but I don't want to deal with it.In the book, the goal is to help provide social skills for people with ADHD. The issue, is that the skill presentation presents the issues as it were the fault of the person with ADHD."'Sharing is like a seesaw' you need to ensure the other person gets a turn." Not things like, "how long should that turn be?" Or things like, "what if they want to listen?" Or things like "what if I want to listen?" Or things like "how do I ask to get my turn?"The kicker was when to show you were listening, it said to provide "appropriate eye contact". How long is that? How often do you glance away?It's a bummer. I was hoping the book would feel more respectful.

This is a great book! It helps the ADHD person figure out how their behavior affects others and what they can do better. It also helps the non-ADHD person (ie, parent, spouse, friend) learn why ADDers do what they do. I liked the writing style...it kept my interest and was extremely interesting. I've been down the ADHD road with a child (who is now in college) and done a lot of research on ADHD. I found this book very informative and helpful.

The author reviews the types of behaviors that many of those with ADHD do that gets them in trouble. Also listed are many of those things that they do not but should. With the former, most of the advice provided by this author seems to consist of saying such and such behavior will land you in hot water. So don't do it. But there is little advice on how to go about modifying your behavior. Perhaps this book might be useful for kids but most adults have figured out for example that blurting things out in an undiplomatic manner will get them in trouble. But to just stay stop it is silly and useless advice.

Un libro con ejemplos cotidianos de lo que un TDAH hace que puede resultar molesto a los demás.Te abre los ojos porque te enseña las situaciones desde la perspectiva del otro. Te enseña qué cosas decimos que pueden molestar, que cosas hacemos, los fallos que cometemos en el entorno laboral etc.Lo cuenta de una manera muy simple, con ejemplos de situaciones de niños y de adultos.La tapa me llego recortada, pero no me importó porque no afectaba a la lectura.Lo compré en inglés porque salía más barato que su versión en español, pero tiene un fallo, no se lo puedo dar a mis seres queridos para que lo lean porque ellos no hablan inglés.Me parece que una buena manera de que nuestro entorno nos entienda es que lean este tipo de libros, ya que a veces la comunicación directa con los familiares es difícil.

Great book, taught me a lot about my son.

It was written in a way i could identify with from personal experience and showed me clearly what i need to be aware of in my own actions. Things i had never considered before and documented in a straight forward way.As a suffer of ADHD and SCT I found it very relevant.Thank you for writing this.

There is some helpful information in this book. Unfortunately the author seriously misses the mark when she discusses the sub-text of conversations. She assumes that people with ADD don't 'read' the sub-text and make social errors due to this. Speaking personally, this is the exact opposite of my experience. The sub-text is often so loud that I cannot hear the actually words spoken - the reverse of what she is saying. The writer is neuro typical and trying to be very helpful but misses completely some of the special abilities of people with ADD. One being the special ability to read the emotions in a room. For this reason I feel a little sorry for her husband and son and believe she needs to expand her knowledge to understand them (and the rest of us) better.

excellent