Noise and Stories: Poems by John Graves Morris

Iron Man Family Outing is a deeply moving book for those of us who experienced childhoods dominated and overshadowed by dysfunctional fathers. So many of us identified with one superhero or another in our childhood as a way of believing in a being who possessed fewer or none of the obvious flaws and deficits in maturity and behavior our fathers so vividly demonstrated. Still, even in our conflicted memories of "Dad" we feel love, compassion, and bonding for the humanness that was our father. Mine passed away when I was 15 leaving me to reconcile the vast divide between us over a lifetime. This book helped me identify with others who have experienced similar relationships with their Dads.Two especially poignant poems in the book moved me to tears. One is "dad I got," and expresses the intensity the author felt describing his relationship. He writes "he works in a factory hates his job takes it out on us," "he thinks the world is against him," "I love him, I need him, I hate him, I miss him," "this is the dad I got." Later in the book the poem "charley horse" provides us with a glimpse into a moment of connection between father and son. The author writes "he seemed more open in those moments, I didn't feel like he hated me then," "in those brief moments I always felt like I was just like him." I felt similar connections between my Dad and myself at times and the way they were expressed in this book helped me remember those times and see my Dad as more than an individual caught in circumstances he could scarcely control nor was emotionally equipped to handle. I see my Dad in context now and feel his humanness, flaws and all.This book by Rick Belden is a raw, no holds barred attempt to confront the pain many of us feel and move beyond it, while embracing a "more conscious manhood." Writing a book such as this is no small feat and the author clearly was in touch with his pain, memories, and expressing them in a way that is healing for us all. Though written in 1990 the author has posted many poems from this book on You Tube. I recommend reading this book then watching his videos as they augment the experience.

Rick Belden's honest, soul-savaged book of poems gives a very real accounting of the childhood trauma that goes unrecognized/unabated in today's increasingly violent, mental health-challenged, fragmented, and burned out society. Rick's book could serve as a template for any man (or woman) who wants to do the hard work of recovery and resilience-building from toxic childhood stress. He bravely shows us how these multiple traumas can lead to anxiety, addictions to alcohol, drugs, and/or sex, which only further mask the pain. These poems also allude to the emotionally ripped apart families borne of individual family member reactions to abuse and trauma (not everyone can face the demons in their family and deal with them openly). Rick's book captures the pain of society's past missed opportunities to help families and children suffering in seemingly silent, suburban nirvana. In fact, the book begs the question "How many little boys and girls today are reaching for super heroes/comic book characters to help them through their terrors while the rest of us maintain our idyllic suburban Disney-like images of their unrecognized childhoods?". Highly recommend this book for men, women, and family members of dysfunctional, abusive, traumatic lives, or those who want to understand their impact on society.

So many times in my life I have looked for words to explain what was happening and found none. I did not think the words even existed. Nobody could explain what all this madness was, and more importantly, what it meant.But Rick could. And Rick did.Iron Man Family outing has awakened me to new forms of consciousness I did not think were possible. The man's mantra of "do and don't think/feel" had ruled my life for years until Rick found a way with his poetry to say the things I could not or dare not say. Family Outing leaves no stone (or armor, as it were) unturned as Belden explores the hurts passed down by our forefathers, the way we as men perpetuate unhealthy patterns, and the pieces of our identity we struggle to synthesize. The poems are grounded. The writing is accessible. The feelings are raw. The breadth of the subject matter can leave you solemn or winded. Either way you can't help but be thankful.As a therapist I like to work with men's issues. I now use Family Outing as an essential reading tool for self-exploration and awakening. It has been enjoyed by both the growing men I have had the honor of meeting in therapy, as well as colleagues whom are open to issues specific to men. If you want to know more about the internal workings of the mythical man, if you want to understand what it's like to be a man in a modern age, if you just want to get a new/raw/honest perspective on the life we all share on this planet, you MUST read this book.