My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward is a courageous, candid, and heart-rending account of a young vibrant couple eagerly embarking upon life’s journey together as one. Mark and Giulia are two young professionals, gleefully striding into a promising future, hand in hand, husband and wife. They are deeply in love and appear to be living a “charmed life.” When, suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, and with little warning, Mark’s lovely bride was stricken with an insidious malady, resulting in disturbing hallucinations and erratic behavior.Giulia’s unpredictable behavior necessitated Mark and Giulia’s father to physically restrain Giulia, forcing her against her will, to be immediately driven to a hospital emergency room to be evaluated. Sadly, this was the onset of Giulia’s and Mark's life-long struggle with mental illness, and just the precursor of what lay ahead for Mark’s and Giulia’s life’s journey together as one.Giulia was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder, and Mark’s and Giulia’s charmed life was abruptly derailed for a period of time. Fortunately for Giulia, this is where the measure of Mark’s love for his lovely wife Giulia truly shines forth in the darkness we know and name mental illness.This is a triumphant story of faithfulness, compassion, patience, endurance, kindness, and love in all its splendor. Yes, love is the crux of this fine memoir. Mark poignantly writes, “In fact, maybe love, in the purest sense, is about being kind to someone with no expectation of how they’re going to respond. They can ignore your kindness, reject it, or return it tenfold, but you just continue to be kind, and that is love.”Yes, Mark is indeed right, “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward is more than a love story - it details the experience of a devoted husband of a woman with mental illness.I am another lovely wife, and eagerly wanted to better understand my husband's experience, as we also work together to manage my mental illness.After setting the scene of their love story (perhaps a little stretched out), Lukach describes his wife's sudden and completely unexpected onset of psychosis. She is hospitalized, and he tries to control the situation and fix his wife. After a lengthy hospital stay she comes home, only to sink into suicidal depression. She does recover, only to experience another episode a few years later, and then another after that. Through these experiences, Lukach realizes he can't fix her, but how to support his wife in managing her illness. The partnership that develops is beautiful and imperfect.As Lukach described his reactions to his wife's experiences, I found myself having to take the book in small doses. It was hard to read, as I kept thinking about what my husband and I have been through with MY illness. What have I done to him? I would take a break, only to pick it up again the next day to see what happened next. The book is compelling, but also emotional. I needed time to process my own feelings.That said, I found Lukach somewhat unlikable. He seemed unaware of the financial privilege that allowed him to not work for long periods of time, in order to support his wife at home. But he didn't present himself as perfect (which would have been worse).Still, as another lovely wife, I would recommend this book to anyone trying to support a loved one with mental illness. Now, to get my husband to read it!

My heart broke for Mark Lukach and his wife Giulia, in their battle with Giulia's psychotic bouts. Having grown up with a mother who suffered a "nervous breakdown" when I was 10 years old, and having watched as she relapsed, repeatedly, spending the next 30-40 years in and out of the psych wards of local hospitals, this book hit me hard. I was especially intrigued by the philosophy of Laing, whom I had never heard of, but it explains why it got harder and harder for my father, and later on my sisters and I, to get help for my mother, who had no private health insurance, and was dependent on state assistance, and eventually on medicare. We were told repeatedly, that my mother "had a right to be crazy," by psychiatrists who thought we were trying to dump our mother on the system because we didn't want to take care of her. They never gave one thought to how her illness affected three children under 12, who had to cope with her bizarre, erratic behavior, and care for her, for ourselves, take care of the house, go to school, while our father worked to pay bills, buy food, clothes, and keep a roof over our heads. The part of the book where the pediatrician told Mark that his primary responsibility was to protect his son from his wife was especially painful. I marvel at Mark's strength, devotion, and determination in caring for his wife. I ache for his dilemma, and I pray that he and Giulia can continue to work the plan they agreed to; and that Mark never has to choose between the two, as my father finally had to do. If it helps, as my mother got older, her psychosis seemed to stabilize as long as she took her meds, and the time between episodes got longer and longer, until they seemed to disappear altogether. This book shines a light on the woeful inadequacy of the mental health system in this country, and the complete lack of recognition of the horrendous burden "caregiving" places on the families of the afflicted. Kudos to Mark Lukach for a clear, concise, but heartwrenching documentation of his wife's descent into psychosis, and the impact on her and everyone who loves her.

This book was suggested to me by a psychologist to read, with no explanation as to why, I couldn't understand, well until I started reading the story. My wife has been recently diagnosed with cervical cancer and the emotional turmoil that comes with it is everything in this book, the story of hope, the story of love, the story of fighting against the unknown for the people or person you love, I have cried and laughed, I've cringed and been angry, I felt connected to this story as if it was me. Our circumstances are very different, but the emotions and support and unknown are all the same. This is a very powerful book and amazing story, I wish you, Giulia, Jonas and goose all the best,

thank you. I just listened to a podcast with Mark (The good life podcast). I am so grateful to hear your story. It resonates with me. I have lived through similar things. Your world falls apart when the person you love falls victim to mental health issues and starts to question the worth of their own life. It is heart breaking! You feel powerless and scared and wondered if they will come home tonight or if they have taken their own life. CBT has been profoundly helpful for us, but their are triggers and relapses ... work stress & lack of sleep being the biggest :o(But thank you writing the book. Thank you for helping to remove the stigma. Thank you for helping so many of us not feel quite so lonely ... knowing that there are others out there having moments going through the same dark tunnel!

Una toccante e forte storia d'amore e malattia, si legge tutto d'un fiato e ti lascia mille pensieri ,lo raccomando soprattutto ai giovani.

I really enjoyed this book it gave me an insight into what it is like to live with someone who has psychotic episodes. What this family went through is heartbreaking and it just shows that it can come out of nowhere.My only criticism about this book is how it ended it just stopped abruptly.I would have liked to know about their life after Guilia's 3rd psychotic episode and what is happening in their life now. I hope Mark writes another book

Very accurate portrayal of mental health care system from the perspective of a family member of a loved one with severe mental illness.