For Young Men Only: A Guy's Guide to the Alien Gender

For Young Men Only is a good book for guys about girls. Here is the description from the book:"Just for guys...the inside scoop on girlsfrom the girls themselves.Okay, the authors aren't girls. But to bring you the facts they surveyed more than 1,000 of them. Every teen guy wants to know how girls are wired, what they want, and how they really think...Or at least how to talk to a girl without feeling like an idiot.Here's your chance to find out."I was pleasantly surprised that this wasn't the typical dating ( I Kissed Dating Goodbye )or sexual purity ( Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation (The Every Man Series) ) book like most material written for teenage guys. Instead, a guy is given scientific research on what girls think and how they operate. The authors interviewed 1,000 girls and compiled their answers to write this book. The result is a book that enlightens guys on the alien sex written in a way a guy can understand.This information is given for the purpose of helping guys improve relationships with girls. This isn't just about improving boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but any relationship with a girl. This could help a guy's relationship with a sister, friend, or even a mom. It also helps fellas who want to deepen a friendship with a lady.We used this book in a guys study with high school age guys. Everyone benefited from reading the book. I enjoyed that the sole focus wasn't dating or sexual purity. Those topics are mentioned in a round-about way, but in the context of how girls think and act. We even brought in the girls, who were going through the other book for girls only, to see if what the book said was true. The girls and guys were shocked to find out how different they really were... it was funny.Overall, a solid book for any guy wanting to understand females.

This book is one that I wish had been available when I was younger. It is chock full of needed insight into the “alien gender,” and I do recommend it as a good resource for young men. Much like Shaunti Feldman and Lisa Rice’s “For Young Women Only,” this book doesn’t just make assertions, but backs up its statements with surveys and quotes from young women about what they want in a boyfriend and what guys do to destroy relationships. There is genuinely good information and advice here.Having said that, this book has some glaring shortcomings. Granted, Jeff Feldman and Eric Rice had a much more difficult job than their wives did because, let’s be honest, guys are far simpler to explain than girls, particularly when it comes to relationships and sex. But by oversimplifying things, the authors really damage their book’s credibility.Throughout the book, quotes and studies are used to make the case that girls are not nearly as interested in a guy’s looks and social status as they are in his character and personality. I have no doubt that girls really believe this, but this simply does not match what we see in real life. How many times does the cheerleader actually end up dating the funny, high-character chubby guy in the marching band or the nerd on the robotics team who is a gentleman and a great listener? Anecdotally, we all know that couples generally match up fairly well with each other in terms of looks and social status, and multiple studies show that a guy’s social status is a major factor when girls decide whom to date and marry (as if we needed a study to tell us that). Yes, girls value inner qualities, but they value the other stuff, too. So why paint a glossy, inaccurate picture of girls that ignores reality?The book repeatedly gives guys really bad advice, by encouraging them to buck up their confidence and ask out that cute girl in school they are so attracted to. Now if this guy is a 7 in the social status department and she’s an 8, sure, go for it. But if he’s a 2, he’s not only wasting his time, but he’s setting himself up to be humiliated. Very, very few girls are going to take a major social status hit to date even the nicest guy, especially when there are better-looking and higher-status alternatives available to them. And even sweet girls will still giggle to their girlfriends about the nerd who asked them out: “Ewww! I mean, he’s sweet and all, but what was he thinking?” Why encourage guys to make fools of themselves unnecessarily?Another flaw in the book is that it constantly tells guys what to do to win the heart of “cute” girls. Now it is simply a biological fact that guys are strongly motivated by a girl’s physical attractiveness. But by definition, half of the population is below average in the looks department, so there just aren’t enough gorgeous, pretty, and cute girls to go around. Crazy thought here, but maybe it would be better to encourage guys to honestly assess their social status and look for great girls who are actually in their league.At the very end of the book, the authors “went there” and outright said what I was so hoping they wouldn’t:“A better understanding of girls will naturally lead to more rewarding friendships with them, which will lead to healthier dating relationships, which will in time lead to a strong, fulfilling marriage (Ahem, that includes a great sex life!) and a happy family.”What an awful promise to make to young men or women! Sure, it works out that way for many people, but human romantic and sexual relationships are incredibly complicated. Even people who do “everything right,” pursue quality dating relationships, and marry someone they think will be a great spouse often find out that life doesn’t always go according to plan. Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual problems with either spouse can create huge challenges in marital and sexual relationships and prevent them from being anything close to fulfilling. Selling young people false promises like this is beyond irresponsible.This book is loosely written from a Christian point of view, which makes the authors’ failing here all the more serious. From a Christian perspective, the worst thing about prosperity teachings and “formulas for living” is that when they fail to pan out, the resulting disappointment and anger can cause disillusioned believers to question the very goodness and faithfulness of God. Even advice that is prudent should never be presented as a sure-fire way to success and happiness, because there is no such thing. Sooner or later, life catches up with all of us.I will still be giving this book to my son to read, but I will also be talking to him about its shortcomings and providing the necessary correctives. It’s too bad the authors did not produce a better and more accurate book.

This is a brilliant book for teenage guys.It helps teenage guys understand girls so it helps them improve their situations with girls.There arent enough books for the young guys.Most of the books are for the adult guys.I love how this book came about.Research that needed to be done.Its about time.These authors got it right.Great teamwork.This is THE book that all teenage guys need.It explains the myths,the misunderstandings and the confusion that young guys experience.Its the right book for them.It takes them through the whole processs and explains things sensibly and with a little bit of humour too.This book should be part of the school curriculum.It should given out to them at school with all the other school books.Every young guy should have this book.I'm glad I read it.It reminded me of my teenage years.Back then we had to ask our older brothers and even or dad's for advice.This book has it all here.Give this book to a teenage guy as a gift.He will appreciate it.If you are going to buy a book for your own teenage son buy this book first.Its going to be one they'll remember and treasure.I gave this book 5 stars because thats the highest score here.

My son claims to dislike reading, and is very choosy about putting a book on his 'like it" list. This one he couldn't put down....until it got lost for a few weeks, found and then devoured. The author writes in an engaging way which prompted my son to think through relationships in new ways. In addition, the book increased his confidence in relating to girls. I've even heard him recommend it to others.

Got this for my son to read. He isn’t dating yet but he loves to read so I ordered it preemptively and he said it’s very interesting.

Good

When this book arrived I saw something on the cover that was not shown in the image at Amazon. It is the 'Christian Book Award' winner by the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. So if you are an Evangelical Christian, stop reading this review as the book is everything you've dreamed.For the rest, pg 130's you'll read the authors agreement that "sex was created for marriage" and "everything we learned from girls themselves in this survey confirms all those old-fashioned morals you hear in church or synagogue". On pg 144 we learn that while guys convince themselves that sex with a girl is not that big a deal, "God didn't make humans work that way..." and by page 153 boys are encouraged to 'Do a Joseph" and just run if girl physically grabbed him with desire.That said, if you can get past the bible-bits, there are some good thoughts and comments on relationships. If they ever come out with a God-lite version, it might be a big seller.

Very insightful! My daughter read it and enjoyed it eventhough it's for young men.